


Deaf Stans: Relativity Falls

by KittyKatBella



Series: Deaf Stans [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Relativity Falls, Deaf Characters - Freeform, I'm not gonna do every single tag like in my other RF fic, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12857115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKatBella/pseuds/KittyKatBella
Summary: In an AU where Stan and Ford are deaf...When the twins go to Gravity Falls to visit their Great Aunt Mabel, some weird things happen over the summer.





	1. Tourist Trapped

**Author's Note:**

> For more information on my Deaf Stans AU in the original universe:
> 
> https://kittykat-fanfictions.tumblr.com/post/167502602290/deaf-stan-twins-au
> 
> So as it says, this is a retelling of RF in the Deaf Stans AU. Everything is told from Stan's/Ford's/Stan and Ford's POV. Basically, any scene that doesn't have one of the Stans in it isn't included (possible exceptions apply) and there will be missing dialog. Stan and Ford always sign with their words when they're around each other. They only talk out loud if there's hearing people around. The others don't yet sign all the time. Mabel only signs occasional words.

_Ah, summer. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy._

_Unless_ _you're_ _me._

A golf cart with two boys on it crashed through a sign reading 'Welcome To Gravity Falls'. The boys- seemingly twins- screamed as the golf cart flew through the air. A giant monster chased them as the golf cart hit the ground. One of the twins' hands moved to form sign language as he yelled.

"Stan, I can't pay attention to you talking if I'm driving!" The other twin snapped. The cart flew off a rock.

_My name is Stanford. The boy about to puke is my brother, Stanley. If you're curious about the sign language, we're deaf. You may also be_ _wondering_ _what we're doing on a_ _golf cart_ , _fleeing_ _from a_ _creature_ _of unimaginable horror._

An uprooted tree flew over the golf cart, landing in front of its path. Stanley cried out (probably) and pointed ahead at it.

_Rest assured,_ _there's_ _a perfectly logical explanation._

_Let's_ _rewind. It all started when our ma decided we could use some fresh air._

Stanley and Stanford were in their living room at home. Stanley was playing a video game, while Stanford had his face buried in a book. Their mom pulled away both of these items and shoved bags into their arms.

_So she_ _shipped_ _us from our home in New_ _Jersey_ _to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon. We were to stay at our Great Aunt_ _Mabel's_ _house in the woods all summer._

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack!" Mabel greeted happily, slowly signing along with her words. "Did I do it right?"

Stanley and Stanford looked at each other, smiling.

"It was great," Stanford told Mabel, signing as well.

\-----

_This attic is amazing!_  Stanley signed after taping a bunch of posters to the wall on his side of the room. _Look, splinters!_

He held up his hands, showing a bunch of splinters. Stanford was looking around as he walked to his bed. He jumped backwards upon seeing it.

_And there's a pig on my bed,_  he signed. The pig jumped to the floor as Stanley walked over.

"Hey there, friend," Stanley said as the pig clamped his mouth onto his shirt. "Oh, yes you can keep chewing on my shirt!"

_My brother tended to look on the bright side of things._

Stanley rolled happily down a hill, likely yelling as he did so. Stanford was nearby, a pen in his mouth as he looked at a book, sitting against a tree. A woodpecker tapped at his head.

_But_ _I_ _had a hard time getting used to our new surroundings. It_ _wasn't_ _all bad, though. Our Great Aunt Mabel had turned her house into a tourist trap she calls 'The_ _Mystery_ _Shack.' Only two kids our age work there, but_ _they're_ _pretty cool._

Back at the shack, a boy with glasses was working on fixing something. However, that something gave a small explosion and started admitting smoke. The entire room filled with it, causing the boy to start coughing.

_That's_ _Fiddleford McGucket._ _He's_ _sort of like the mechanic around here. He fixes stuff up, in other words._

A brunette kid with very short hair and red glasses hurried into the room, clearing the smoke and helping Fiddleford up.

_And_ _that's_ _Bella._ _She's_ _pretty nice and friendly. Maybe a little too friendly, but she_ _means_ _well._

_So guess_ _who_ _else had to work at our graunty's_ _Mystery_ _Shack for the summer._

Stanley and Stanford were standing in the gift shop. Stanford was sweeping while Stanley reached out for a display. Graunty Mabel smacked his hand away with her cane.

"No touching!" She said.

_It_ _looked_ _like it was going to be the same old boring routine for three months. Until one fateful day..._

Stanley was peeking from behind a counter, through a line of Mabel-bobbleheads. He was looking at a girl, who was opening a letter.

_'She's looking at it, she's looking at it!'_  Stan thought excitedly.

" _Do you like me?_ " Stan read the girl's lips as she read aloud, then looked at the choices. " _Yes. Definitely. Absolutely_?"

She looked around, confused.

_'I rigged it,'_  Stan thought and chuckled quietly to himself. The girl crumpled up the letter and tossed it into a trash can. Ford waved a hand, catching Stan's attention.

_Lee, I know you're going through your whole 'girl-crazy phase,'_  Ford began, pausing from wiping off a display nearby, _but I think you're overdoing it with the crazy part._

_No way!_  Stan waved him off. _This is our first summer away from home! It's my chance to have an epic summer romance!_

_Yeah, but do you need to flirt with_ every _girl you meet?_  Ford asked.

_**Flashback!** _

Stan was standing next to a girl, who was looking at postcards.

"My name is Stan, but you can call me anytime," Stan said to the girl. "I'm JOKING!"

He shoved the girl, knocking her over into the card stand. He laughed loudly at his joke.

_**Flashback!** _

Next was a girl in the park holding a lizard.

"Oh my gosh, you like lizards?" Stan asked, appearing behind the bench. "I like lizards, too! What is happening here?"

_**Flashback!** _

Lastly there was an older girl in a costume at a mattress store.

"Come one, come all!" She announced. "To the Mattress Princess' Kingdom of Savings!"

"Take me with you," Stan whispered, peering out from a bundle of balloons. The girl screamed.

_**Flashbacks over.** _

_Mock all you want, brother,_  Stan signed, _but I have a good feeling about this summer! In fact, I'll bet you anything that the girl of my dreams is about to walk through that door right now._

The two of them looked towards the door Stan had pointed at. Just then, Graunty Mabel walked through the door, burping and holding her stomach.

"Oh, oh, not good," she said.

"Ew! Why?!" Stan cried, drawing laughter from Ford.

"Alright, look alive, people!" Mabel announced. "I need someone to go hang up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!" Stan said quickly.

"Not it!" Ford repeated.

"I'll just slack off!" Bella said truthfully from the other side of the room.

"Also not it!" Ria said in the background. She was on a ladder, changing a light bulb.

"I didn't ask you, Ria," Mabel said kindly.

"I know," Ria nodded and took a bite out of a chocolate bar.

"Dan! I need you to hang up these signs!" Mabel called to the teen at the counter. His feet were propped up on the counter top and he was reading a magazine.

"I would but I can't- uh- reach it- uh," Dan said, pretending to reach for the signs.

"Alright, alright," Mabel sighed. "Let's do it this way! Eenie, meenie, miney... you."

She ended up pointing at Ford.

"Aw, what?" Ford said. "Graunty Mabel, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."

"Aw, not this again," Mabel rolled her eyes.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town," Ford said. "Just this morning, my mosquito bites said 'Beware'."

He held out his arm for his aunt, showing her the series of red dots.

"That says 'Bewarb'," Mabel said. Ford let his arm swing to his side, scratching at the bites with his gloved hand.

"Woah, cool!" Bella said, looking at the word. "Beware or not, mosquito bites don't usually spell stuff."

"Listen Ford, the whole monsters thing is just an urban legend," Mabel explained. "Made up by people like me to sell things to tourists. Now go and hang up these signs. Please?"

"Oh, alright," Ford sighed, taking the signs.

\-----

Out in the woods, Ford was hanging up his last signs.

_'Ugh, Graunty Mabel,'_  Ford complained. _'No one ever believes anything I say.'_

He was about to nail up the last sign, but something stopped him. When he hammered the tree, it vibrated differently than the others. He tapped the hammer on the tree and set his hand against the bark, feeling the metal-like vibration. Ford set the hammer and sign down, feeling along the bark of the tree. Except it didn't feel like bark, more like metal. He brushed a layer of dust off of the trunk and pulled back on a crack, revealing a hidden compartment in the tree. Inside was a device with two levers.

"What's this?" Ford asked himself. He switched the first lever and looked around, but it didn't seem to do anything. The second one, however, did, and Ford saw when he looked back to see a panel in the ground opening. Waddles the pig, who had been sniffing around, was running off.

Ford walked over to the hole and saw a journal. He picked it up and blew the dust off the cover, revealed a silver pine tree cutout with a '3'. Ford breathed out in awe, opening the book. Inside the front cover read 'Property Of' but the name was smudged and unreadable. Ford flipped through the rest of the book, settling on a page and beginning to read.

_'It's_ _hard to believe_ _it's_ _been six_ _years_ _since_ _I_ _began studying the strange and_ _wondrous_ _properties of Gravity Falls, Oregon,'_  Ford read. _'What_ is _all this?'_  He flipped a page. _'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before_ he _finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.'_

At the bottom of the page, written in large letters, was _'TRUST NO ONE!'_

_Trust no one,_  Ford signed to himself, closing the book. Two hands suddenly grabbed his shoulders, starling him.

"Ah!" Ford cried, nearly dropping the journal. He turned around to see Stan, grinning, and Bella.

"Whatcha got there?" Bella asked.

"Some nerd thing?" Stan asked.

"Ooh, I like nerd stuff!" Bella smiled.

"It's, uh- It's nothing!" Ford lied, hiding the book behind him.

"'It's uh- It's nothing!'" Stan mocked. "What, are you seriously not gonna tell me?"

"I've lived in this town my whole life," Bella said. "I'll get it! I've seen weird things here."

"Uh..." Ford looked at the journal, which was being nibbled on by Waddles. "Let's go somewhere private."

\-----

The three of them, plus Fiddleford, stood in the living room. Ford was pacing around, while Stan and Fiddleford sat on the couch, and Bella sat upside down between them.

"It's amazing!" Ford said. "Graunty Mabel said there wasn't anything weird about this town, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has some sort of dark side."

"Woah! No way!" Stan said, shoving Ford playfully.

"And get this!" Ford continued, excited. "After a certain point, the pages just _stop._ Like whoever was writing them mysteriously disappeared."

"Inter'stin'," Fiddleford nodded thoughtfully. Bella sat up suddenly, looking towards the doorway. The twins looked as well, looking at her in confusion when there was nothing there.

"Doorbell rang," she said, noticing their looks.

"Oh! I've got the door!" Stan yelled.

"Who's that?" Ford asked.

"Well, time to spill the beans," Stan said before knocking over an empty can of beans. "Haha, beans. This guy's got a date!"

"Let me get this straight," Ford sighed. "In the half hour I was gone, you already found a girlfriend?"

"What can I say?" Stan shrugged. "I guess I'm just a babe magnet."

He ran to the door. Fiddleford left to go fix something and Bella left to go get something to eat, leaving Ford alone to read the journal. He was tapped on the shoulder and jumped, pulling the journal closed.

"Oh, sorry!" Mabel said, holding a soda. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I-it's ok," Ford stuffed the book away.

"Whatcha reading there?" Mabel asked.

"Uh, nothing," Ford lied, grabbing a nearby magazine. "Just catching up on the newest issue of- uh- _Teen Boyz Fashion Magazine_?"

"That's a good issue," Mabel said, taking a sip of her soda.

"Are you sure this is yours?" Ford asked. "This isn't Bella's, is it?"

"Pfft, heck no," Bella said, entering the room with a family sized bag of chips. "I prefer lemons."

"Lemons? Like the fruit?" Ford asked, confused.

"Nope! Like the fanfictions!" Bella smiled. Just then, Stan entered the room. With him was a girl. She had brown bangs and a black hoodie, which was pulled over her head. There was a hole in the sleeve and a stick poking out of the hood.

"Hey family!" Stan greeted. "Meet my new girlfriend!"

"Sup?" Bella said through a mouthful of chips.

"Hey..." Ford said.

"How's it hanging?" Mabel asked with a smile.

"We met at the cemetery," Stan said. "She's _really_ deep."

"So what's your name?" Bella asked.

"Uh... normal... _woman!_ " The girl grunted.

"She means Norma," Stan said, spelling the name out in sign language.

"Are you bleeding, Norma?" Ford asked, pointing to the red liquid on her cheek.

"It's jelly," Norma said.

"I love jelly!" Stan said happily. "Look at this!"

"So, you wanna go... hold hands, or whatever?" Norma asked.

"I'd love to!" Stan smiled. "Don't wait up, guys!"

He ran out the door. Norma stumbled after him, bumping into the wall.

_There was something off about Norma._ _Something_ _that_ _wasn't_ _right. I decided to consult the journal._

Ford was sitting in the attic, on a windowsill next to a triangle-shaped window.

_'Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for- teenagers?!'_ Ford read. _'Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious-'_

Ford gasped as he looked at the picture, which looked exactly like Norma.

"ZOMBIE!"

Ford watched out the window, where Stan was sitting on a picnic table. Norma was walking towards him, arms outstretched. Ford was able to read Stan's lips from the window.

"I like you," Stan said, kicking his legs.

"Oh no, Stan!" Ford cried, pounding on the window, but, obviously, his brother didn't hear. "Stan, no! Look out!"

Ford screamed when Norma put her arms around Stan's neck, but stopped when he saw what she had done. Norma showed off the flower necklace she had made.

"Wow, thanks Norma!" Stan said.

"Is my brother really dating a zombie?" Ford asked aloud. "Or am I just paranoid?"

He looked around the room in thought, seeing Ria behind him. He looked at the woman, who was screwing a light bulb into its socket in the ceiling. 

"I couldn't help but hear you talking to yourself in this empty room," Ria said.

"Ria, you've seen Stan's girlfriend," Ford said. "She's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"Hm, I don't know," Ria said thoughtfully. "How many brains did you see her eat?"

"None," Ford sighed, glancing to the floor.

"Look dude, I believe you," Ria said. "I'm always noticing weird things around here. Like the mailman? _Pretty_ sure that dude's a werewolf. But you need evidence. Otherwise people will think you're crazy."

"As always Ria, you're right," Ford said.

"My wisdom is both a blessing, and a curse," Ria said, tipping her hat. She looked up, as though listening to something. "I am needed elsewhere."

She left the room.

_My brother could be in trouble. It was time to get_ _some_ _evidence._

Ford hid nearby, video taping Stan and Norma's activities. They were in the park, playing Frisbee. Stan threw the Frisbee, which hit Norma in the head, causing her to fall over.

Next they were walking to the diner. Norma punched through the window, letting Stan in.

Finally they were in the graveyard. Suddenly, Norma fell into an open grave. She burst out like a zombie, causing Stan to laugh.

_I'd_ _seen enough._

Stan was in the room in the attic, combing his hair. Ford entered, a backpack full of stuff. He grabbed his brother's shoulder, turning him away from the mirror.

_Stan, we have to talk about Norma,_  Ford signed.

_Isn't she the best?_  Stan asked, not picking up on his brother's concern. _Check out this giant smooch mark she gave me!_

He turned his cheek, revealing a large mark of smudged lipstick. Ford cried out in alarm.

_Haha, gullible!_ Stan laughed. _It was just an incident with Waddles._

_**Flashback!** _

"Kissing practice!" Stan announced, holding a lipstick container in front of Waddles. He went to put it on the pig, but Waddles squealed and ate the lipstick. He then proceeded to lick Stan with a lipstick-covered tongue.

_**Flashback** _ _**over!** _

_That was fun,_ Stan laughed.

_No, Stan, listen!_  Ford signed, pulling out the journal. _I'm trying to tell you than Norma is not what she seems!_

Stan gasped.

_You think she might be a_ werewolf _?_  He asked. _That would be so awesome! My first girlfriend is a monster!_

_Guess again, brother,_  Ford opened the book. _Sha-bam!_

"Woah!" Stan yelled out, looking at the page.

_What?_ Ford looked at the page about fairies. _No no, wait. Uh-_  he flipped to the zombie page, _sha-bam!_

_A zombie?_  Stan asked. _That's not funny, Sixer!_

_I'm not joking!_  Ford signed. _It all adds up. The bleeding, the limp- she never blinks! Have you noticed that?_

_Maybe she's blinking when your blinking,_  Stan guessed.

_What? That makes no sense!_ Ford signed.

_Well it makes more sense than your stupid zombie theory!_  Stan argued.

_Stan, remember the journal? It said trust no one,_  Ford signed.

_Well what about me, huh?_ Stan asked. _Can't you trust me?_

"Stan, snap out of it!" Ford yelled, shaking his brother's shoulders. "She's going to eat your brains!"

_Ford, listen to me!_  Stan angrily signed back, shoving him away. _Me and Norma are going on a date at five o'clock, and she's gonna be ADORABLE, and I'm gonna be DREAMY, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!_

Stan shoved Ford out of the room, slamming the door in his face. Ford sighed, sliding down to the floor against the wall.

_'What am I gonna do?'_

\-----

It was 5:00, and Stan was still getting ready in his room. Mabel entered, waving a hand.

"Someone's here to see you," she told him.

"It must be Norma!" Stan grinned. He raced downstairs, pulling on a black jacket. "Coming!" He opened the front door. "Hey Norma! How do I look?"

"Coool," Norma grunted.

"Haha, you always know what to say," Stan smiled. He left with Norma, leaving Ford to watch the videos of his 'evidence.'

_'Ria was right,'_ Ford thought. _'I don't have any_ real _evidence. I guess I can be kinda paranoid, and- wait, WHAT?!'_

Ford rewinded the last video. Norma's hand fell off, and she put it back on her sleeve before Stan saw.

"OH MY GOSH!" Ford cried, the chair falling backwards. "I was right! Graunty Mabel, Graunty Mabel!"

Ford raced outside, where Mabel was showing around a group of tourists.

"And here we have 'Rock That Looks Like a Face Rock'," Mabel said. "The rock that looks like a face." A man in the crowd raised his hand. "No, it looks like a face." Another man raised his hand. "No, it's a _rock._ "

"Graunty Mabel, Graunty Mabel!" Ford cried from the back of the group.

"For the fifth time, it's- it's not an _actual_ face!" Mabel said angrily. Ford groaned.

\-----

Meanwhile, Stan and Norma were in the woods.

"Finally, we're alone," Stan said.

"Yes, alone..." Norma said.

\-----

"Mabel! Mabel!" Ford cried. He saw Dan drive up in the golf cart and raced over. "Dan! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my brother from a zombie!"

The two stood there for a minute before Dan tossed the keys to Ford.

"Try not to hit anybody," Dan smiled, walking off. Ford hopped into the golf cart and began to drive, but Fiddleford stopped him.

"Ford, wait!" He called, waving his hands, and held out a shovel. "Take this, fer the zombie."

"Thanks," Ford said, taking the weapon.

"And this one's fer Stan," Fiddleford said, handing Ford a baseball bat.

"Thanks," Ford repeated, driving off.

\-----

"Uh, Stan," Norma said, fiddling with her zipper, "now that we've gotten to know each other, there's-" she exhaled, "there's something I should show you."

"Oh Norma, you can show me anything," Stan said. In his mind, he thought _'Please be a werewolf, please be a werewolf.'_

"Alright, just- just don't freak out, alright?" Norma said. "Keep an open mind. Be cool."

Norma started to unzip her jacket, and Stan's eyes widened. Her jacket fell off, revealing, not a girl, but five little fairies.

"Is this weird? Is this too weird?" The fairy on top asked. "Do you need to sit down?"

"Uhhhh..." Stan stared at the fairies.

"R-right, I'll explain," the top fairy said. "So... we're fairies. My name is Jill. And here we have, Carly, Alex, Janet, and- I'm sorry, I always forget your name, sweetie."

"Shembula," the last fairy said in a gruff voice.

"Shembula! Yes, of course!" Jill smiled. "Anyways, long story short, us fairies have been looking for a new king!"

"King! King! King!" The other four fairies repeated.

"Heh, so what do you say?" Jill asked. The fairies moved so it looked like they were on one knee. They held a ring out in a box on their fake hand. "Will you join us, in holy matrimony?"

"Look ladies, uh, you're nice and all, but it's just..." Stan looked for a way to phrase his words, "I'm not really looking for marriage right now. I mean, I'm only a kid, and you're a bunch of fairies, and it's like... _wha_? Yeah..."

"We understand," Jill nodded solemnly. "We'll never forget you, Stan." The boy smiled softly. "Because we're going to kidnap you."

"What?" Stan said in shock before the fairies jumped on him. "AHHHH!"

\-----

Ford raced through the wood on the golf cart, searching for his brother. It was at times like this that Ford really wished he could call for Stan and hear where he was. Soon he found Stan and the fairies in a cave. Jill was standing off to the side, supervising, while the rest of the fairies wrestled with Stan. Jill's back was to Ford.

"Let go of me!" Stan yelled, punching Alex off of his arm. The fairy bounced to the side, leaning against a tree as she puked a rainbow.

"What the heck is going on here?!" Ford cried, catching everyone's attention.

"Ford! Norma turned out to be a bunch of fairies!" Stan yelled, punching a few more of the fairies. "And they're not all glitter and sunshine like stories make them out to be! Gah!" He choked as a fairy grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar. "Neck, neck!"

"Fairies?" Ford questioned, opening his journal. "Oh, I was way off." He read from the book, Stan attempting to read his lips. " _Fairies, little winged ladies of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses, unknown._ "

He lowered the book to see that the fairies had tied Stan to the forest floor.

"Oh, come on!" Stan complained. Ford marched up to Jill.

"Hey! Leave my brother alone!" He yelled at the leader.

"Oh! Tee-hee, hi there!" Jill giggled. "Uh, you see, this is all a big miscommunication. Stanley isn't in any danger. He's just marrying all 1000 of us and becoming our fairy king for all eternity. Isn't that right, sweetie?"

"You guys are buttfaces!" Stan yelled. Jill quickly covered his mouth. Ford held up the shovel, pointing it at the fairy.

"Let him go, or else!" Ford threatened.

"You think you can stop us, kid?" Jill asked. "You have no idea what we're capable of. The fairies are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-"

Ford cut her off by sticking the shovel underneath her feet and flinging her into a nearby bush. He cut the ropes binding Stan with the shovel.

"Yay!" Stan cheered. He kicked the fairies away as he and Ford climbed onto the golf cart.

"He's getting away with our king!" Jill cried, rising into the air with her wings. "No no no!"

Ford drove off once he and Stan were buckled in.

"Hurry! Before they come after us!" Stan yelled, looking behind them. He looked back at his brother for his response.

"Ha! I wouldn't worry," Ford smiled. "Have you seen their little wings? Hehe, suckers are tiny."

Stan's jaw dropped as he looked behind them. Ford stopped the golf cart upon noticing Stan's face, looking behind as well. The fairies were approaching in a giant swarm.

_Dang,_ Stan signed.

_Dang is right,_  Ford agreed.

"Move move move!" Stan shouted, causing Ford to slam on the gas pedal.

"They're getting closer!" Stan cried. The fairies worked together to shoot several fairies forward. They landed on the cart, using long, sharp nails to tear at the top of the cart. Stan punched a fairy off, while Ford grabbed Shembula and slammed her into the steering wheel a few times.

"Shembula..." the fairy said, dazed, before Ford threw her off. Another fairy jumped onto Ford's face, clawing at it.

"I'll save you, Ford!" Stan yelled, punching the fairy a few times. Once the fairy flew off, Ford was revealed to have a black eye and several scratches.

"Thanks Stan," he said, dazed.

"Don't mention it," Stan said. The fairies worked together to uproot and lift a giant tree, throwing it at the boys. They screamed as it landed in front of the cart, causing them to swerve out of the way. The cart landed on its side in front of the Mystery Shack. Stan and Ford crawled out of the cart as the fairy swarm approached.

"Stay back!" Ford said, his voice quivering as he threw the shovel at them. The fairies caught the shovel and threw it far away. Stan and Ford clung to each other, screaming.

"Where's Graunty Mabel?!" Ford cried. Jill was shouting from the front of the swarm, but she was too far away for the twins to see what she was saying. They glanced at each other.

"We, uh- we don't know what you're saying!" Stan told her, stepping forward. "You're too far away!"

Jill flew down in front of them.

"I said, 'It's the end of the line, boys!'" She announced. "Stan, marry us before we do something crazy."

_There's gotta be a way out of this!_  Ford panicked. Stan frowned and stepped forward.

"I'll do it," he said.

_What?!_ Ford grabbed Stan by the shoulders and turned him to face him. _Lee, are you crazy?!_

_Trust me,_  Stan signed. Ford looked at him in confusion. _Ford, just this one. Trust me!_

Ford nodded and took a step back. 

"Alright Jill," Stan spoke. "I'll marry you."

"Yippie!" Jill cheered. She showed him the ring. Stan held out his hand so Jill could slip the ring onto his finger. "Yahoo! Now let's get you back home, sweetie."

"You may now kiss the bride," Stan said, admiring the ring.

"Oh! Tee-hee, of course!" Jill giggled. She leaned over to Stan, puckering her lips. Stan did the same as Jill closed her eyes. As soon as she did, Stan pulled Waddles over. The pig clamped down on Jill's feet. "Wait, what?! Woah woah woah, what's going on?!"

Waddles now had her entire lower half in his mouth.

"That's for lying to me!" Stan yelled. Waddles slurped up more of the fairy, so she was up to her neck. "That's for breaking my heart!" Jill seemed to yell out in pain. "And _this_ is for messing with my brother!" 

Stan slapped Waddles on the back. The pig squealed, spitting out the fairy and causing her to fly through the swarm, landing deep in the forest. The swarm disbanded, landing on the ground. The fairies screamed as Waddles approached them, flying off so they wouldn't get eaten. One fairy got caught in a plastic bag that was floating by, causing her to drop to the ground. Waddles grabbed the bag in his teeth, carrying it off.

_Hey Ford?_  Stan signed. _I'm uh, I'm sorry for ignoring your warnings. You were just trying to look out for me._

_Don't be like that, you saved our butts just now,_  Ford smiled.

_I guess I'm just upset that my first girlfriend turned out to be a bunch of fairies,_  Stan sighed.

_Look on the bright side,_  Ford signed. _That's an interesting story for your family. Not everyone can say they dated fairies._

_Heh, yeah. I guess,_  Stan smiled softly.

_High six?_  Ford asked, holding up his hand.

_High six,_  Stan signed, giving his brother a high five. The two of them headed inside, where their Graunty Mabel was counting money.

"Yeesh, you two get hit by a bus or something?" She joked. The twins ignored her as they went to go upstairs. Mabel quickly waved a hand, getting their attention. "Why don't you guys pick something out from the gift shop? On the house."

"Wow, thanks Graunty Mabel!" Stan smiled and went to look around. Ford joined him, looking at the empty spiral notebooks. He picked out one with a cool cover- maroon with a golden trim. Inside the notebook was a page of gold-colored paper.

"This should do," Ford smiled.

"And I will have," Stan pulled something out of a box, spinning around before showing off his choice, "brass knuckles!"

"Haha, works for me!" Mabel laughed.

\-----

Upstairs in their room, Stan was playing around with his new brass knuckles. Ford, on the other hand, was tracing his hand on the gold paper in his notebook. He had taken off his gloves, revealing six fingers. He cut out the tracing and glued it to the front of his notebook. After the glue dried, he started to write.

_'The journal_ _I_ _found_ _here_ _told me that there was no one in Gravity Falls_ _I_ _could trust. But when you_ _battle_ _1000 fairies side-by-side with someone, you realize_ _they've_ _probably_ _always_ _got your back.'_

_Hey Stan, could you get the light?_  Ford asked.

"I'm on it," Stan said, unable to sign with the brass knuckles. He punched the lamp out the window, causing him and Ford to laugh. "Brass knuckles!"

_'Our aunt told us there was nothing strange in this town. But who knows what other secrets are_ _waiting_ _to be unlocked.'_


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

Stan and Ford were sitting at the kitchen table, eating pancakes for breakfast. Ford was reading the newspaper when Stan waved his hand.

 _Hey Ford, syrup race!_  Stan announced, holding a container of syrup in the air.

 _You're on!_ Ford laughed, putting down the newspaper and picking up his own syrup bottle. The twins held the bottles upside down over their mouths so that the syrup slowly dripped out.

"Go go go!" Stan and Ford cheered.

"Almost, almost," Stan said. He hit the bottom of the syrup bottle a few times, causing a drip of syrup to fall into his mouth. "Yes!"

He started coughing as Ford went back to his newspaper. Stan coughed a bit more before clearing his throat.

"Worth it," he coughed.

 _Woah, no way!_  Ford signed excitedly. _Stan, check this out!_

He showed Stan a page in the newspaper.

 _Human-sized robot suit?_  Stan signed. _I'm human-sized!_

 _No Stan, this,_  Ford pointed to the other page. It was an ad for a contest. There was a picture of a monster and a big '$1000' across the top. _We see weirder stuff than that everyday! We didn't get any pictures of those fairies, did we?_

 _Nope, just memories,_  Stan signed, then pulled something out. _And this wing!_

 _Why would you save that?_  Ford asked. Stan shrugged. Just then, Mabel entered the room.

"Good morning, knuckleheads," Mabel smiled and signed the greeting. "You guys know what day it is?"

"Um, happy birthday?" Ford guessed.

"You're a year older now!" Stan cheered. Mabel smacked him playfully on the head with the rolled up newspaper.

"It's family fun day, genius!" She said. She walked over to the fridge, pulling out a pitcher of Mabel Juice. "We're cutting work to have some family bonding!"

"Graunty Mabel, this isn't going to be like our last family bonding day, is it?" Ford asked.

_**Flashback!** _

Stan was sitting in his room. Earlier that day he had told Mabel that he had never seen a rainbow before. Because of that, she had a surprise for him.

"Hum hum hum, nothing brightens up a room like light from a window," Stan sung to himself, getting up to open the blinds. "Time to open the win- DOH! AHH!"

As soon as he opened the blinds, a very powerful rainbow shone through, blinding him. Mabel jumped into the room, pausing when she saw Stan on the floor.

"IT BURNS! AHHHHH!" Stan screamed, holding his eyes.

_**Flashback over!** _

"I still can't see straight," Stan said, and to prove his point, he reached for the syrup bottle, accidentally knocking it over.

"Ok, maybe that wasn't one of my better ideas," Mabel said. "But today we're gonna have _real_ family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

"Yay!" Stan and Ford cheered.

"Wait what?" Ford asked, realizing what his great aunt had said.

\-----

Stan and Ford were in the back seat of Mabel's car. They each had blindfolds and were obviously buckled in. The car bumped along the road.

 _'This must have been how Helen Keller felt,'_ Ford thought. He felt Stan's hand on his arm and could picture a grin on the younger twin's face when he moved to try and tickle him. Ford shoved his hands away, laughing. The car went over a large bump.

 _'I really hope Mabel isn't wearing a blindfold as well,'_ Ford shuttered in fear. He really did _not_ enjoy being blind _and_ deaf. _'How did Helen Keller do this for her entire life?'_

Eventually they reached the lake, but the car was all banged up from the trip. Mabel steered the twins out of the car and pulled off their blindfolds. Stan and Ford blinked in the sudden light, seeing the lake.

"Yay, I can communicate again!" Stan cheered.

"Ta-da! It's fishing season!" Mabel announced happily.

"Fishing?" Stan said.

"What are you playing at?" Ford asked.

"You'll love it! The whole town is out here!" Mabel said. One woman was out on the lake, holding a pan. 

At the dock, a man was taking a picture of another man holding a fish. Once he snapped the camera, the second man fell backwards into the lake. 

Three boys were sitting in a boat with a large, strong-looking woman. One of the boy held out a fishing pole, and the woman grabbed it and snapped it in half. The woman looked at the lake before pulling out a fish. She tossed it into the boat before proceeding to punch it. The boys cheered her on.

"That's some quality family bonding," Mabel smiled.

"Graunty Mabel, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?" Ford asked.

"It'll be great!" Mabel assured. "Listen, I've never had fishing buddies. No one else I know likes to fish."

 _I think she actually wants to fish with us,_  Stan signed to Ford.

"Hey, I know what will cheer you guys up," Mabel smiled and handed each twin a sweater. Stan's read 'Stanley 'Lee'' and Ford's read 'Stanford 'Ford''. "Bwap! I made them myself."

"Graunty Mabel, it's summer," Stan said.

"Well too bad, because it's just gonna be me, you, and those sweaters on a fishing boat for ten hours," Mabel beamed.

"Ten hours?!" Ford cried.

"I brought the scrapbook!" Mabel sung, holding up a scrapbook.

"No, NO!" Ford panicked.

 _There's gotta be some way out of this,_  Stan signed desperately. An old woman suddenly shoved through the crowd, yelling.

"The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker!" She cried. "Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!"

"Did- did I see that correctly?" Ford asked his brother. "'Gob-ble-won-ker'?"

"I think so," Stan nodded. He laughed as the woman started to dance. "Haha, she's doing a happy jig!"

"No! ItisajigofgraveDAAAAANGER!" The woman yelled. Just then a man exited the fishing lodge, spraying her with a water bottle and yelling at her.

 _Are you getting any of this?_ Stan asked.

 _Something about danger?_ Ford guessed. They looked at the man just in time to catch him saying the woman's name: 'Crazy Chiu'.

"ButIhavegotproofthistime!" Crazy Chiu said. "Look!" She pointed to a nearby boat, which was ripped in two. "Itwasthegobble-d-wonkerwhatdonedidit! Ithadalongneck, likeadinosaur! Andwrinklyskin, like- likeadinosaur!"

 _She talks really quickly,_ Ford frowned. _I think she said something about a dinosaur? And that 'gobblewonker' thing again._

"Itchewedupmyboat, andswam-didovertoScuttlebuttIsland!" Crazy Chiu continued, pointing to the island in the middle of the lake. 

 _I got that one!_ Stan bounced excitedly. _Scuttebutt Island!_

"Yougottabelieveme!" Crazy Chiu cried.

"Attention everyone," one of the police officers said. "It seems we have ourselves a crazy old woman."

Everyone laughed.

"Aw, donkey spittle," Crazy Chiu said, walking away.

"Well that happened," Mabel said. "Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!"

"Graunty Mabel, can you, uh, explain what all that was?" Ford asked. "She was talking too quickly; we didn't get much."

"Ah, something about the Gobblewonker monster," Mabel said. She climbed into the boat and started untying the rope holding it to the dock. "It's this legend, she's gone on about it for ages. Nothing to worry about."

Ford perked up.

 _Stan, did you hear what she said?_ He asked excitedly.

 _No, actually. I didn't hear any of it,_ Stan joked.

 _You know what I mean,_ Ford rolled his eyes. _About the monster! If we can get a picture of it, we can split the prize 50-50!_

 _That's two fifties!_ Stan smiled.

 _Imagine what you could do with five hundred dollars!_ Ford signed.

_Stan imagined_ _himself_ _in the human-sized robot suit. He could shoot lasers_ _and_ _even fly. He stood against a light pole as a car with two girls in it_ _drove_ _up._

_"Hey ladies," he said. "You can look, but you_ _can't_ _touch. Robot suit, away!"_

_Stan flew off, leaving the two girls to look on in awe and wonder._

_Stan! Stan?_  Ford snapped his fingers in front of Stan's face.

 _Ford, I am one million percent on board with this!_  Stan signed.

"Graunty Mabel!" Ford said, looking down at Mabel, who was in the boat. "Change of plans. We're going to take that boat over to Scuttlebutt Island and get us a picture of the Gobblewonker."

He spelled out 'Scuttlebutt' and 'Gobblewonker' quickly in sign language when he said them.

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" Stan and Ford began to cheer. Crazy Chiu ran over and cheered with them.

"Monster hunt! Monster..." she trailed off at the look the twins gave her. "I will go..."

"Hey, you guys say somethin' 'bout a monster hunt?" Fiddleford walked up to them, accompanied by Bella. "My dad owns a boat. Ah could take y'all out ta the island."

"Yeah! We have nothing better to do," Bella said. She had a blue drawstring backpack on, and was holding a touchscreen phone in her hand.

"Fidds! Bella!" Stan smiled, giving both of them a fist bump. However, it was a little different. One that Bella had made up, where first it's a fist bump, then an explosion, and finally, a high five. He signed Fiddleford's name as 'Fiddle' and Bella's as 'Beautiful'.

"Alright alright, let's think this through," Mabel said from her boat, which was named 'The Mystery Boat'. "You guys _could_ go waste your time on some epic monster hunt, or you could spend the day learning to tie knots and skewer worms with your Graunty Mabel!"

The twins looked over at Fiddleford's boat, which was pulled up next to the dock. It was big and looked really cool. The twins then looked back at their graunty's boat, which looked kind of sad and boring.

"So what do you say?" Mabel asked. However, the twins were already on Fiddleford's boat, which was zooming off towards the island with the twins, Fiddleford, and Bella aboard.

"We made the right choice!" Stan cheered.

\-----

Meanwhile on Fiddleford's ship, the _S.S Nerdling,_ Ford was standing proudly, giving out orders.

"Hoist the anchor!" He ordered, and Fiddleford and Bella worked together to pull up a cinder block on a rope. "Raise the flag!"

Stan held up his shirt, which was tied onto a tall stick.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Stan said.

"We're gonna win that photo contest!" Ford smiled.

"Does anyone got sunscreen?" Fiddleford asked.

"We're gonna... go get sunscreen!" Bella said. They cheered as Fiddleford turned the boat around.

\-----

Once the four friends were heading back towards the island, Ford began pacing in front of the assembled team.

"Ok think, what's the number one problem with most monster hunts?" Ford asked.

"The monster ends up not existing or being a fake," Bella said.

"If'in yer a side character ya die within the first five minutes'a the movie," Fiddleford guessed. "Woah! Am I a side character?"

"No no no," Ford shook his head. "Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Stan, be Bigfoot?"

"Ok," Stan said, and stood like Bigfoot.

"There he is, Bigfoot!" Ford said with poor acting. "Uh oh, no camera! Oh, here's one! Oh, no film! You see, you see what I'm getting at here?"

The others murmured in agreement.

"That's why I bought 21 disposable cameras," Ford said. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one inside my glove. There's no way we'll miss this! Alright everyone, let's test our cameras out."

Fiddleford took a picture of himself, but the sudden flash made him cry out in alarm and fling the camera into the water.

"See? This is exactly why we need backup cameras," Ford said. "We still have 20."

"Ah, bird!" Stan yelled, throwing a camera at a bird that flew past his head.

"Nineteen!" Ford said."Ok guys, I repeat. Don't lose your cameras."

"Wait, lose the cameras?" Fiddleford asked.

"DON'T!" Ford shouted.

"Oops, Ah just threw two overboard," Fiddleford said, pointing to the floating cameras.

"Seventeen!" Ford said, irritated. "We still have seventeen-" he slammed his fist on a camera, breaking it. "Sixteen. We have sixteen cameras."

"So what's the plan?" Stan asked, holding a bag over the edge of the boat. "Throw more cameras overboard?"

"Are you guys both idiots?!" Bella shouted.

"NO!" Ford panicked, watching his brother, "No! Ok, Stan, Bella, you'll be lookout, Fiddleford will drive, and I'll be captain."

"Aw, how come you get to be captain?" Stan asked. "You're captain on our boat! What about me, huh? Stan-ley! Stan-ley!"

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea," Ford said.

"Can I be first mate?" Bella asked, raising her hand.

"Well, Stan is first mate on the Stan O' War," Ford said.

"How about co-captain then?" Bella asked.

"That's not a thing," Ford said.

"Aw, whoops," Bella replied, tossing a camera overboard. "Fifteen."

"Ok fine!" Ford said quickly. "You can be co-captain!"

"Can Ah be associate co-captain?" Fiddleford asked.

"As co-captain I authorize that request," Bella said.

"As first mate, I approve of it," Stan smiled.

"Well, as the original captain, our number one order of business is to lure that monster out with this," Ford gestured to a barrel of fish food.

"Permission to dare associate co-captain to taste some?" Stan said.

"Granted," Ford said.

"Permission co-granted," Bella said.

"Permission first-granted," Stan smirked.

"Uh, permission _not_ associate-co-granted?" Fiddleford said.

"Three to one, buddy," Bella said. "You gotta do it."

"Aw, man," Fiddleford sighed and tasted some of the food, coughing at the taste. The others laughed. Bella pulled a fish stuffed animal out of her backpack and took a picture of it in the fish food using her phone.

"What are you doing?" Stan asked.

"I have an Instagram account for my Beanie Boos," Bella explained. "I take pictures of them in places."

She put the Beanie Boo back in her bag and dropped her phone in a Ziploc baggie.

\-----

The _S.S Nerdling_ was slowly approaching Scuttlebutt Island. There was a thick fog, and while Fiddleford was scooping fish food off the back of the boat, Ford was having trouble seeing where they were going. Bella had taken the opportunity to take a picture for her 'first time seeing fog' ("I've never seen fog before oh mah goshness cool!") and Stan was pretending that a pelican was a dummy.

"Hey! How you doing?" Stan asked the pelican, then adopted a new voice and moved the bird's big bill. " **I'm** **doing awesome!** "

"Stan, leave that thing alone," Ford said, walking over.

" **Aw,** **I** **don't** **mind none!** " Stan said as the pelican. "Hey look, I'm drinking water!" Stan pulled out a cup of water and began drinking it, then tried to sing as the pelican. He started coughing, causing the pelican to fly off.

"Aren't you supposed to be on lookout?" Ford asked.

"Look out!" Stan yelled and tossed a beach ball at Ford. The older twin whimpered and Stan laughed. "No really, I got it."

The boat lurched to a sudden stop, causing Bella, who had joined the twins at the rail, to fall over the edge head-first. Stan fell backwards into the ship, and Ford just held on to the rail.

"Look, we're here!" Stan said, stepping off the boat and helping Bella up. "I'm a lookout master! Robot suit, here I come!"

"Neato dorito," Bella said, looking around and taking pictures.

Fiddleford joined the others and they started walking into the forest on the island. Ford led the group, holding a lantern in his hand. They passed by a sign that read 'Scuttlebutt Island' and Stan and Bella stopped by it.

"Look, check it out," Stan snickered and covered up the 'Scuttle' part of the sign. "Butt Island."

"Pfft, you dork," Bella shoved him playfully and laughed. Stan looked towards Ford and Fiddleford to see that they weren't laughing.

"Hey guys, why aren't you laughing?" He asked them. "Are ya _scared_?"

"No, Ah just don' find much humor in it," Fiddleford said.

"Psh, yeah right," Ford rolled his eyes. "I'm not-"

"Boop," Bella poked his nose.

"Yeah you are!" Stan laughed. Ford dropped the lantern as Bella kept poking him.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Ford said, but the kid didn't let up. "Bella- could you- stop!"

Bella stopped poking Ford, looking around in slight fear.

"D-did y'all hear that?" Fiddleford asked, looking around.

" _Did we what?_ " Stan asked.

"There was like, a growling noise," Bella said.

"Maybe it was the Gobblewonker," Ford guessed. Suddenly a raccoon ran up and stole the lantern, carrying it off. "Oh no, our lantern!"

It grew dark around the group, and Ford squinted to see anything.

"Ugh, I can't see a thing," he groaned. He turned towards the others, seeing that Fiddleford was talking. "I didn't get a word of that, Fidds."

"Me neither," Stan shook his head. Bella walked passed, grabbing each of them and leading them out of the fog.

\-----

Bella was beatboxing, while Stan was (poorly) singing something.

"My name is Stan!" Stan sung. "It rhymes with pan! It also rhymes with man! It also rhymes with... clan!"

"Dude, we should be writing this down," Bella said. A flock of birds scattered from a spot in the trees. Fiddleford looked around fearfully again.

"That was that growlin' noise," he said. "From that way."

"This is it! This is it!" Ford said excitedly. He and Stan began lightly punching each other in the arm.

"Dude dude dude dude!" They said together. They walked towards the sound, followed by Bella and finally Fiddleford, who had grabbed a nearby stick for use as a weapon.

Through the fog, the group saw a shadow that had a long neck. They hid behind a log, cameras at the ready.

"Everyone get your cameras ready," Ford ordered quietly. They all turned their cameras on. "Ready? Go!"

Fiddleford jumped out from behind the log first, screaming and snapping pictures at random as they ran towards the shadow. The twins and Bella followed. When they reached the shadow, however, they saw that it was just an old boat wreck.

"Aw man!" Bella yelled and threw her camera at the ground, breaking it. "Oops... sorry, Ford..."

"It's ok..." Ford murmured, watching as the beavers chattered to each other. Two of them hugged and slapped their tails against the wooden wreck, causing another beaver to fall off into the water.

"But what was the noise?" Fiddleford asked. "That was definitely a monster noise!"

"Or it was that," Bella said after a pause, pointing at a beaver chewing on a chainsaw. The chainsaw activated and the beaver jumped, but didn't move.

"Cool, beaver with a chainsaw!" Stan said and took a picture.

"Neato dorito!" Bella smiled and took her own picture of the sight.

"Maybe that old woman was crazy after all," Ford sighed.

\-----

"Uh huh! Oh yeah! Work it!" Bella was saying to a beaver, taking pictures. "That's good! Oh, do that again!"

Bella was taking pictures of the beaver, while Ford sat on a rock, facing the lake.

"What are we gonna say to Graunty Mabel?" Ford sighed, tossing a pebble into the lake. "We ditched her for nothing." Just then there was a ripple in the water. "Hey! Did you guys feel that? WOAH!" The rock Ford was sitting on disappeared, dropping him into the water. "Hey hey hey!"

He swam to shore, Stan pulling him up. The group saw the Gobblewonker's figure swimming away.

"This is it!" Ford cried excitedly. He started taking pictures. "This is our chance!" He turned around, seeing Stan, Fiddleford, and Bella backing up. "What's wrong with you guys?"

"Uh, bro..." Stan said. He stared above Ford. Bella murmured something, but Ford couldn't see what.

"It's not that hard, ok?" Ford said. "You just point and shoot. Like this."

He turned around, looking through the camera. He looked up, seeing the Gobblewonker's face. The monster roared, causing Ford to drop his camera in shock. The boy felt a hand close around his wrist and pull him along as the other three ran. The Gobblewonker followed them on land, knocking over a tree that almost hit Stan and Ford. They continue to run, dodging trees and other obstacles and catch up with Fiddleford and Bella.

The Gobblewonker snapped at Bella, who screamed and nearly tripped. Stan grabbed her wrist, pulling her along. Ford pulled out another camera, trying to get a picture, but stumbled over a tree root and dropped it.

"The picture!" Ford cried. He was about to run after the fallen camera when Fiddleford pulled him forward. Fiddleford and Bella both yelled something. "I can't read your lips when we're running!"

The group finally reached the boat. Stan got on first, helping Bella up. Fiddleford and Ford climbed aboard, knocking the boat back into the water. Fiddleford ran to the steering wheel.

"Ok, this is it!" Ford said, taking out a camera. "Cracked lens?! Stan, get a picture!"

Stan, however, was throwing both his and Bella's supply of cameras at the monster.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Bella screamed, standing up.

"Oh, right! There's still one left!" Stan said and tossed it to Bella, but it fell short and broke.

"One, that's not doing anything!" Bella yelled. "Two, that's actually doing something worse, ya ding-dong!"

The Gobblewonker dove into the water, following the boat of kids. Fiddleford steered the ship forward and away from it.

"Go go go go go!" Ford urged. The boat streaked through the lake, splashing water on everyone they passed. Soon they circled back around to the island.

"FIDDS, BEAVERS!" Ford cried, pointing out the animals. The boat crashed through the wreck, scattering beavers everywhere. They started chewing on the boat and its crew members. The crew struggled to fight off the beavers, with Stan throwing some of them at the Gobblewonker. The _S.S Nerdling_ drove through a spot with a bunch of people fishing. Their boats were overturned as the Gobblewonker swam underneath them. The Gobblewonker managed to knock the top of the control cabin off of the _S.S Nerdling_.

"AHH! Look out!" Stan yelled, pointing ahead of them. Two men in two boats were holding a piece of glass. The _S.S Nerdling_ crashed through the glass, breaking it. Stan was driving in the control cabin, and was heading straight for a dead end. Ford quickly flipped through the journal and waved a hand, getting Stan's attention.

"Go behind the falls!" He instructed, tucking the journal under his arm to sign to Stan. "I think there might be a cave behind it!"

"Might be?!" Stan yelled.

"You THINK?!" Bella added. They all screamed as the boat went through the waterfall and into the cave behind it. They crashed, throwing them all onto the dirt. Bella checked her phone and bag, making sure everything was ok.

"Phew, no water damage," Bella sighed, looking at the sealed Ziploc baggie with her phone.

"You've sure got your priorities sorted, huh?" Stan grouched, pushing himself up. The four of them screamed again as the Gobblewonker burst through the cave entrance, but got stuck.

"It's stuck!" Fiddleford cheered.

"Yahoo!" Ford grinned. "Wait. It's stuck?!"

He quickly tried to find a camera but came up empty.

"Boop," Stan said, pulling off Ford's glove and dumping out a camera. Ford laughed and pulled the glove back on before snapping a lot of pictures of the monster.

"Did you get a good one?" Bella asked.

"They're all good ones!" Ford said happily.

"Whoo-hoo!" Bella pulled the three of them into a hug.

"YEAH, ROBOT SUIT!" Stan cheered. Suddenly a large rock fell onto the Gobblewonker's head. It admitted sparks before falling to the ground.

"Huh?" Ford frowned. He walked over to the Gobblewonker and placed a hand on its side. "Ugh..."

Ford kicked the Gobblewonker, and it vibrated similar to metal; definitely not flesh. He climbed up the side of the monster. He climbed over the top, then appeared from the other side. 

"Guys, come check this out!" He yelled. Stan, Bella, and Fiddleford climbed over to where Ford was. They saw a hatch, like something one would see on a submarine. The group worked together to open it, revealing Crazy Chiu working to operate the machine. The old woman looked up at the kids. 

"Oh, fork fingers!" She exclaimed.

"Crazy Candy Chiu?" Fiddleford gaped. "You made this? W-why?"

"I-I, well... I just wanted attention," Crazy Chiu sighed.

"Well so do I but I just use social media!" Bella said.

"I still don't understand," Ford said.

"Well, firstIjusthootenanniedupabiomechanicalbrainwavegenerator, andthenIlearnedtooperatea-" Crazy Chiu turned away at the last bit of the sentence.

"Ok, hold on," Ford said. "Please, we need you to slow down while you're talking. And face us."

"We're deaf," Stan told her, motioning between him and his brother. "We can't read your lips if you talk too quickly."

"Oh. Sorry!" Crazy Chiu said. "I said that first I hootenannied up a biomechanical brainwave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick shift with my hair."

"Ok. But why?" Ford asked.

"Well, when you get to be old like me, no one pays attention to you anymore," Crazy Chiu sighed. "My own friends haven't visited me in years. So I figured maybe I would catch their fancy with a fifteentonaquaticrobot!" She laughed crazily, then sighed. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just do not know what us old fellas will do for a little quality time with the ones we love."

Stan and Ford pulled out the sweaters their Graunty Mabel had made for them. They sighed, looking at the excellent craftsmenship.

"Yo, I guess the real lake monster is you two," Bella said. "Haha, sorry. I couldn't miss that roasting opportunity."

"So, did you ever talk to your friends about how you felt?" Stan asked Crazy Chiu.

"Nope, I got straight to work on the robot," the woman said. "I have made lots of robots in my time. Like when my boyfriend left me, and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron. And my pal Grenda didn't show up to my retirement party, so I created an 80 ton shame bot that _exploded_ theentiredowntownarea!" She laughed again. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!" She disappeared back inside the monster. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

"Well, so much for the photo contest," Ford sighed, looking at the camera.

"We could still turn in the pictures," Bella said. "They don't know it's fake."

"No, that's cheating," Ford shook his head.

"We still have a roll of film left," Stan said.

"What do you wanna do with it?" Ford asked.

\-----

Mabel was boating back to shore. She sighed sadly.

"Hey, look this way!" Bella called. Over on the destroyed _S.S Nerdling,_ Ford snapped a picture of his Graunty Mabel.

"What the- boys?" Mabel looked over at the boat. "I thought you were off playing Spin The Bottle or something with Fidds and Bella."

"Well, we spent the day trying to find a legendary dinosaur," Ford said sheepishly.

"But then we realized the only dinosaur we want to spend time with is you," Stan smiled.

"Yeah well, I've been having a great time by myself," Mabel folded her arms. "Making friends, telling myself jokes..."

"So I guess there isn't any room in that boat for four more?" Ford asked with a smile. He and Stan pulled on their name sweaters. Mabel smiled back and gestured for them to get on the boat.

"Have you ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" Stan asked, sitting down.

"Five bucks says ya can' do it!" Fiddleford bet.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, _plus_ me rocking the boat!" Mabel added.

"You're on!" Stan smirked.

"Alright, everyone get together!" Bella said, holding a camera. Stan, Ford, and Fiddleford grouped next to Mabel. "Say 'fishing'!"

"Fishing!" They said.

The rest of the day consisted of them having fun. Bella had to cover Stan's eyes so he didn't cheat while threading the fishing hook. Mabel showed them pictures from her scrapbook and told stories. They ended up stealing fish from another boat and had to speed off before they got caught by the lake police.

At the end of the day, the group was relaxing in the boat. Suddenly the boat bumped something.

"What was that?" Ford asked. Stan shrugged and they forgot about it.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
" **Who** **wants** **to hear a joke?** " Stan asked as the pelican.

"Not me," Ford answered, walking away.

"I do!" Bella said.

" **Ok then,** **here** **goes!** " Stan said. " **Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?** "

"Why?" Bella asked.

" **Because he had a very big bill!** " Stan laughed. Bella also laughed.


	3. HeadHunters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a lot of struggle and confusion, but Mabel was able to get subtitles on the TV at the Mystery Shack! So now they're always on.

Stan and Ford were watching a TV show called Ducktechive. Currently the duck, named Ducktechtive, and the constable were investing a crime scene. It looked as though a man had gotten crushed by a telephone booth. There was a bowl of popcorn between Stan and Ford. Stan reached for the bowl, but Ford smacked his hand away.

_"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir," the constable told Ducktechive. "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."_

_Ducktechive started quacking, and the subtitles at the bottom of the screen translated his words._

_"An accident, constable?" Ducktechive 'said'. "Or was it... murder?!"_

_"What?!" The constable said, shocked._

_That duck is a genius!_  Stan signed.

 _Eh, it's easier to find clues if you're that close to the ground,_  Ford shrugged.

 _Are you saying you could outwit Ducktechive?_ Stan asked, not believing.

 _Stanley, I have very keen powers of observation,_  Ford signed. _For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you've been eating,_  he sniffed, _an entire tube of toothpaste?_

 _I thought it was frosting!_  Stan defended.

"Hey dudes, you'll never guess what I found!" Ria rushed into the room.

"Buried treasure!" Ford said.

"Buried- hey, I was gonna say that!" Stan shoved his twin playfully.

\-----

Ria was leading the twins, Fiddleford, and Bella down a hall.

"So I was cleaning when I came across this room," Ria explained, pushing open a door. "It's super bonkers creepy."

Inside the room was a bunch of wax statues.

"Woah," Ford said, shining a flashlight around. "It's a wax museum."

"They're so lifelike," Bella said, feeling along the arm of wax Sherlock Homles.

"Except for that one," Ford said, pointing the flashlight at their Graunty Mabel.

"Hi there!" Mabel said suddenly, causing the kids and Ria to scream. "No, it's ok! It's just your Graunty Mabel!"

"Oh," Fiddleford sighed in relief.

"Welcome to the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" Mabel said. "It used to be really popular, but the customers stopped coming. I have them all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man? Larry King?"

"Is anyone else getting the creeps in here?" Ford asked, shivering.

"Nope!" Bella said. She was busy with placing different Beanie Boos on different sculptures and taking pictures.

"And now, for my personal favorite, wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-" Mabel saw the pile of melted wax. "OH! OH NO! Aww, who left the window open?! Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking at you!" Mabel sighed, kneeling down and playing with the old wax. "It's been forever since I've made one of these. I don't think I have it in me anymore."

"Cheer up, Ms. Pines," Fiddleford said. "Where's that smile?"

Mabel gave a sad smile and stood up, sighing.

"Hey, maybe we could make you another wax sculpture!" Bella suggested. "If you teach us how."

"Yeah, we could do that!" Stan nodded.

"You really think so?" Mabel asked. "It takes skill, and careful handiwork."

"I'm good with my hands!" Bella said, "I'm a Gemini!"

"I suppose it wouldn't be that hard," Ford agreed. "It just takes planning, something I'm great at."

"I like your spirit, kids!" Mabel smiled.

"I can come up with the ideas!" Bella said. "I'm creative!"

\-----

A while later, Bella was sketching out ideas. Stan and Ford walked over, Stan drinking a soda.

"STAN! FORD!" Bella yelled suddenly. "What do you guys think of my idea?"

She showed them a drawing.

"It's a centaur princess who also has fairy wings!" Bella smiled proudly.

"That might be kinda hard to make," Stan said, looking at the drawing.

"Maybe you should draw something from real life," Ford suggested.

"Like bacon?" Bella asked.

"Um, how about a person?" Ford said. "Someone that you know."

Bella looked towards the doorway, and so did the twins, seeing Mabel enter. She was wearing her robe and had her hair wrapped up in a towel. Bella smiled widely.

"I have my idea!" She beamed.

\-----

After Bella had finished her drawing, Stan and Ford got to work on sculpting the wax. It took a long time and lots of work, but it was finally complete.

"I think... it needs more glitter," Bella said thoughtfully.

"Agreed," Ria said and handed her the bucket. She grabbed a handful and tossed it onto the sculpture.

"Perfect!" Bella smiled. "Oh Ms. Pines!"

"Ok, I found my suit, but now I can't find my- WOAH!" Mabel walked in with no shoes, and jumped backwards at the statue.

"What do you think?" Stan asked proudly.

"I think... the Gravity Falls Wax Museum is back in business!" Mabel exclaimed.

\-----

Ria was outside, using two popsicles to lead customers into the Wax Museum. She took a bite out of one of the popsicles and continued her job. Ford was working at the ticket stand with Dan.

"I can't believe this many people showed up," Ford said.

"Your aunt probably bribed them," Dan joked.

"She bribed me," Ford chuckled, pulling out a five dollar bill. Dan pulled out ten dollars and laughed along.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Mabel announced on stage. "You all know me. Town darling Ms. Mystery. Please, gentlemen! Control yourselves! Anyway, as you all know, I bring this town novelties and befuddlements the likes of which no one has ever seen. But enough about me. Behold... male me!"

Mabel pulled the white tarp off of the wax statue. It looked like her, but with short hair, an orange shirt, and a blue vest. It also wore grey jeans. Only a few people in the crowd clapped, two of them being Crazy Chiu and Growling Grenda.

"And now some words from our very own sculpture and designer, Lee-onardo and Bella-vinci!" Mabel announced, handing the microphone to Stan and Bella.

"It's Stanley," Stan corrected.

"And Bella," Bella added. "Ladies and gentlemen, I formed this idea from that classic question everyone has wondered from time to time: what would I look like as the opposite gender? Well, now no one has to wonder what Ms. Pines would look like: this is him! I named him Mason. Not sure why, but I liked the name."

"So everyone, thank you for coming!" Stan said, taking the microphone. "I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids."

The crowd made noises of disgust.

"Haha, ok," Bella said, taking the microphone back. "Alright, any questions? You there!"

"Crazy Candy Chiu, local kook," Crazy Chiu said, standing up. "Are the wax figures alive? And follow up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?"

"Um, yes!" Stan answered, not quite understanding the question.

"Ok, next!" Bella said.

"Thompson Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper," A man held out a turkey baster as though it was a microphone. "Do you really think this constitutes as a wonder of the world?"

"Um, no...?" Bella tilted her head.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Thompson," Stan pointed out.

"It certainly is-" Thompson began.

"Next question!" Stan interrupted.

"Tambry Valentino, a _real_ reporter," a woman from the back row stood up. "Your fliers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"

She held up the flier.

"I knew I was forgetting something," Mabel said. "Uh, goodnight everybody!"

Mabel threw down a small round ball and disappeared in a cloud of glitter. She carried the money from the event with her. The crowd walked away sadly, the very buff woman from the fishing trip punching a post before walking off.

"I think that went well," Stan said, leaning on the table.

"But none of them came to actually _see_ our work!" Bella pouted.

\-----

Mabel was inside, counting the money she had earned from the unveiling of wax Mabel, or 'Mason.'

"Hot pumpkin pie!" Mabel exclaimed. "Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person." Stan stood proudly next to wax Mason. "This guy!"

Mabel put her arm around Mason's shoulders. Stan shoved her playfully.

"Oof. Yeah, you too, ankle-biter," Mabel laughed. "Now you two wash up. We have a big day of tricking tourists to do tomorrow."

Stan and Ford raced upstairs to get ready for bed.

\-----

Upstairs, the twins brushed their teeth, already in their pajamas.

 _Hey Ford, wanna do a toothbrush race?_  Stan asked.

 _Ok,_ Ford agreed. The two of them quickly raced to finish brushing their teeth, with Stan ending up the winner.

 _Oh, I forgot my journal downstairs,_ Ford noticed when they reached their room. _I'll be right back._

He hurried downstairs, turning into the living room and skidding to a halt in the doorway. Wax Mason laid on the floor, missing his head. Mabel was kneeling next to him, distraught.

"What happened?" Ford asked, frowning.

"Wax Mason!" Mabel sobbed. "He's been... m-murdered!"

\-----

Mabel and the twins were standing in the living room. With them was Bella and Fiddleford, plus the police.

"I get up to use the bathroom, right?" Mabel was saying. "I come back and WAPOW!- he's headless!"

"All that hard work- for nothing!" Stan cried.

"It took me forever to come up with that design!" Bella sobbed.

"Who would do something like this?" Ford asked.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Holt?" Deputy Roy asked.

"Look folks, we'd love to help you, but let's face it," Sheriff Holt said. "This case is unsolvable."

"What?!" Everyone but the cops yelled.

"You take that back, Sheriff Holt!" Mabel ordered.

"You're kidding, right?" Ford asked. "There must be evidence, motives- I could help, if you want!"

"He's pretty good," Fiddleford said. "He found out who was eatin' all'a the potatoes."

"All signs pointed to the pig," Ford said.

"Yeah, let the boy help," Mabel nodded. "He's some sort of genius!"

"Oh, would you look at that!" Sheriff Holt snickered. "City boy here thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City boooy! City booooooy!" Deputy Roy teased.

"You are a _dor_ able!" Sheriff Holt snickered.

"Adorable?" Ford frowned as the cops laughed more.

"Listen PJs, how about you leave the investigating to the professionals, alright?" Sheriff Holt said.

"He would if you were doing your job!" Bella yelled angrily. Mabel put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Sheriff Holt pulled his walkie-talkie out and held it up, listening.

"It's a 23-16!" Deputy Roy announced.

"Let's move!" Sheriff Holt ordered and they ran off, cheering and laughing.

"That's it!" Ford snapped. "Stan, Bella, Fidds, we're going to find out who did this and get that head back! Then we'll see who's adorable."

Ford gave a tiny sneeze.

"Aw, you sneeze like a kitten!" Bella cooed and Ford glared at her.

\-----

The next morning, the four kids were up bright and early to examine the crime scene. Bella was taking pictures of everything.

"Wax Mason has lost his head, and it's up to us to find it," Ford said. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling." He showed them a bulletin board with pictures of suspects. "The murderer could have been anyone."

"Gasp, even us!" Stan said.

"In this town, anythin' is possible," Fiddleford nodded. "It could be months a'fore we find a clue."

Bella waved her hand and Stan and Ford looked over at her.

"Look, a clue!" She said, pointing behind at the floor. She took a picture of footprints in the carpet.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!" Ford said.

"That's unright," Fiddleford frowned. "They've all got'a hole in 'em."

"And they're leading to..." Stan trailed off as he followed the footprints, which ended at an ax hidden behind the chair. The kids gasped.

\-----

The kids were in the gift shop with Ria. The woman was looking at the ax in her hands.

"In my opinion, this is an ax," Ria said.

"Of course, the lumberjack!" Ford realized. "She was furious when she didn't get that free pizza!"

_**Flashback!** _

The woman yelled, punching a wooden post.

_**Flashback** _ _**over!** _

"Furious enough for _murder_!" Stan said.

"Oh, you mean Womanly Wendy," Ria said. "Yeah, she hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."

"Then that's where we're going!" Stan said, determined.

"Dudes, this is awesome!" Ria smiled. "You four are like, the Mystery Team."

"Don't call us that," Ford said. The four kids walked outside, where Mabel was pulling a large wooden coffin out of the back of her car.

"Oh kids, could you please give me a hand with this coffin?" She called. "I'm doing a memorial service for wax Mason. Something small, but classy."

"Sorry Graunty Mabel, but we have a huge break in the case," Ford shared.

"Break in the case!" Bella repeated.

"We're headin' to town ta investigate the murderer," Fiddleford explained.

"We have an ax!" Stan smiled, holding up the weapon. "Ree, ree, ree!"

"Hm, this seems like the thing a responsible parents wouldn't want you doing," Mabel said. "Good thing I'm am aunt! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE MEEEE!"

\-----

In town, the twins, Fiddleford, and Bella were hiding in an alley behind a dumpster.

"This is the place," Ford said, looking at the guard. He was very strong and had tattoos saying 'HEAD' and 'CHIN'. "Got the fake IDs?"

"Sure do," Stan said, handing them out.

"Is this legal?" Fiddleford worried.

"If the cops aren't around, anything's legal!" Stan smiled.

"Here goes nothing," Ford breathed.

\-----

The guard for the biker joint looked at the ID.

"Sorry, but we don't serve miners," he said, handing the card back.

"Dang nabbit!" The miner spat on the sidewalk and walked off angrily. The twins, Fiddleford, and Bella approached the guard.

"We're here to interrogate Womanly Wendy for the murder of wax Mason," Stan said, holding out his fake ID. The rest of them did the same.

"Works for me," the guard shrugged and let them inside. They walked inside, where people were fighting, among other stuff. Stan stepped over a body.

"He's resting," he said, more to calm himself than the shaking Bella and Fiddleford.

"Alright, let's just try to blend in," Ford said.

"You got it, Sixer," Stan said. He sat on a stool at the bar. "Hello fellow restaurant patron. Wanna see a card trick?"

Meanwhile Ford went to find Womanly Wendy, who was playing a video game strength tester.

"Womanly Wendy, just the girl I wanted to see," Ford said. "Where were you last night?"

"Punching the clock!" Womanly Wendy answered.

"You were at work," Ford said.

"No, I was punching that clock!" Womanly Wendy pointed outside to a busted up clock.

"Ten o'clock..." Ford said, scratching his head. "The time of the murder... So I'm guessing you've never seen this before?"

Ford pulled out the ax, showing it to the buff woman.

"Never before, dude," Womanly Wendy said. "That's a left-handed ax. I'm right-handed."

"Left-handed..." Ford said thoughtfully. He walked up to Stan, who was showing the biker his card trick. Bella and Fiddleford were sitting nearby. Bella was clinging tightly to her blue bag.

"Stan, Bella, Fiddleford, big break in the case!" Ford said, and pulled Stan along by his arm.

"Hey, my cards!" Stan said. They stopped outside, where Ford showed them the ax again.

"It's a left-handed ax," he explained.

"Is there a difference?" Bella asked, confused.

"Apparently," Ford said. "All we have to do is find who is left-handed out of our suspects, and we'll have our killer."

"We are on fire today!" Stan cheered.

"Let's find that murderer," Ford said.

The kids went around town. First they stopped by the dump, where Crazy Chiu lived. Bella waved to her, and she waved back with a baby alligator on her right hand. Ford listed her as right-handed.

Next Ford wore a fake mustache and delivered a package to someone's house. They came out and signed their name with their right hand. Ford took the box and left, marking the man as right-handed.

Then Stan whistled, getting a lady's attention. He threw a baseball at her, and she caught it. Ford marked her as right-handed as well.

Fiddleford knocked on someone's door. A man answered with both arms in casts. Ford crossed out his name on the list.

The kids finished going around town and marked everyone off as right-handed. Except for one person.

"Guys, there's only one person left on this list!" Ford gasped, showing the others.

"Of course!" Stan said. "It all adds up!"

\-----

The kids plus the two cops were gathered outside the _Gravity_ _Falls Gossiper._ Deputy Roy and Sheriff Holt each had a match stick with them.

"You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it," Sheriff Holt warned.

"I can live with that," Bella said.

"You won't have to, because the evidence is irrefutable," Ford said proudly.

"So irrefutable," Stan agreed.

"I'm gotta get to use my match stick!" Deputy Roy said in excitement.

"You ready?" Sheriff Holt asked. The two of them cheered quietly.

"On three," Ford said. "One... two..."

Sheriff Holt slammed the door open, revealing Thompson Determined inside the building.

"Nobody move!" Sheriff Holt yelled, even though Thompson was the only one there. "This is a raid!"

"AH!" Thompson fell out of his chair in shock. "What is this? Some kind of raid?"

Deputy Roy smashed a lamp using his match stick and laughed.

"Thompson Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of male Graunty Mabel!" Ford said, pointing at the news reporter.

"You've got the right ta remain silent," Fiddleford said, crossing his arms.

"And to remain impressed with our awesome detective skills," Stan added proudly. The four kids all high fived each other.

"What? I-I don't understand!" Thompson said.

"Then allow me to explain," Ford began. "You were hoping that Graunty Mabel's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to make your own headline."

Bella held up a newspaper, which had a picture of wax Mason's head.

"But you were sloppy," Ford continued. "And all the clues pointed to a shabby-shoed reporter who was caught left-handed."

"Thompson Determined, you're yesterday's news," Bella smirked, crumpling up the newspaper.

"Boy, your little knees must be soar," Thompson said, "from jumping to conclusions! I had nothing to do with that murder!"

"I knew it!" Ford said, then realized what Thompson had said. "Wait, what?"

"Then where were you the night of the break in?" Sheriff Holt asked. Thompson pulled at his collar nervously. He put in a VHS recording of the security cams. It was set to the time of the murder.

_In the video, Thompson pulled a cardboard cutout of Tambry Valentino out of his closet._ _Thompson said something and then started making out with the cutout._

The cops and the kids shuddered in disgust.

"Well, the time stamp confirms it," Sheriff Holt said. "Thompson, you're off the hook. You weirdo."

"Yay!" Thompson cheered.

"But- but it has to be him!" Ford said. "Check the ax for fingerprints!"

"No prints at all," Sheriff Holt reported.

"No prints?" Fiddleford asked, shocked.

"Hey, I have a headline for you," Deputy Roy said. " _City Kids_ _Waste_ _Everyone's Time!_ "

Everyone laughed at the four kids. Stan and Ford looked embarrassed.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you guys," Thompson said as the video of him played in the background.

"No! You should be embarrassed for making fun of kids who were only trying to help!" Bella yelled. "They were only doing what they wouldn't!" She pointed at the cops. "And they're the ones supposed to get paid for this!"

"Calm down, Bella," Fiddleford urged. "We don' need an outburst at the moment."

Bella screamed and stomped out the door.

\-----

Back at the shack, there were a bunch of chairs set up in the wax museum room. Most of them held the wax figures, but the rest held the twins, Bella, Fiddleford, and Ria. In the front of the room was the coffin. Inside it was the headless wax Mason. Standing behind a podium next to the coffin was Mabel.

"Kids, Ria, lifeless wax figures," Mabel began. "Thank you all for coming."

Ria was crying, and blew her nose into a tissue.

"Some might say it's wrong to love a wax replica of themselves as the opposite gender," Mabel began, close to tears.

"They're wrong!" Ria shouted, standing up.

"Relax, Ria," Mabel said. "Wax Mason." She turned towards the statue, dressed in its blue vest and orange shirt. "I hope you're solving mysteries in wax heaven." She started crying. "I'm sorry, I've got glitter in my eyes!"

Mabel ran off, sobbing into her hands.

"Nooo, duuude," Ria followed after her, also crying. Ford sighed, walking up to the front of the room.

"Those cops were right about me," he muttered.

"But Ford, we've come so far," Fiddleford said.

"Yeah, we can't quit now," Stan agreed.

"But I considered everything! The weapon, the motive, the clues..." Ford got a closer look at Mason. "Wax Mason's shoe has a hole in it."

"All the wax people have that," Stan explained. "It's how they connect to their stands."

"Wait a minute," Bella said thoughtfully, "what has a hole in its shoe and no fingerprints?"

"Guys! The murderers are the wax figures!" Ford cried. Bella and Fiddleford turned around, seemingly at another voice. Stan and Ford also turned around, seeing wax Sherlock Holmes and all the other wax figures coming to life. The kids gasped.

"He didn't- he didn't even listen to me, did he?" Wax Sherlock Holmes said. "He just continued with his sentence. How rude."

"Holy Roman Empire!" Bella panicked, hiding behind the twins.

"Congratulations, my four amateur sleuths," Wax Sherlock Homles said. "You have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you."

The kids gasped again.

"Bravo Stanford Pines," Wax Sherlock Homles said. "You discovered our little secret." He took wax Mason's head out from behind his cape. "Applaud everyone. Applaud sarcastically."

"But- but how is this possible?!" Ford asked. "You're made of wax!"

"Are ya magic?" Fiddleford asked.

"Are we magic?" Wax Sherlock Homles laughed. "He wants to know if we're magic!" He stopped laughing. "We're CURSED!"

The rest of the statues mumbled in agreement.

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing," Wax Sherlock Homles said. "Your aunt made us from wax she bought at a crafts store."

"A _haunted_ crafts store, suckas!" Wax Coolio clarified.

"And so, the Gravity Falls Wax Museum was born," Wax Sherlock Homles continued. "By day we were the playthings of man."

"But when your aunt went to sleep, we would rule da night!" Wax Coolio said.

"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings," Wax Sherlock Homles said, "until your aunt closed up shop. We've waited ten years to get our revenge on Mabel."

_Flashback to wax Sherlock Homles cutting off wax Mason's head_ _with_ _the ax._

"But we got the wrong one."

"I told you she looked like a dude!" Wax Coolio said.

"Wait, so you were trying to murder Graunty Mabel for real?!" Ford's eyes widened.

"Wait, I thought we knew that already," Bella spoke up. "Isn't that why we were trying to find the 'murderer' of the wax one? For attempted murder of the real one?"

"Actually, Ah don' think that _was_ the reason," Fiddleford said.

"You were right, Ford!" Stan said. "Wax people _are_ creepy!"

"Enough!" Wax Sherlock Homles yelled. "Now that you know our secret, you must _die_."

All the wax people's eyes turned white, and they growled at the kids.

"What do we do?" Bella squeaked as the group backed up.

"I don't know!" Ford gulped. They backed into a table and started through stuff at the wax figures. However, nothing had an effect except for the hot coffee. One of the wax figures screamed as he began to melt.

"That's it, guys!" Fiddleford realized. "We can melt 'em with hot things!"

"Oh, it's a good thing I'm here," Bella joked. Each of the kids grabbed one of the fake decorative candles.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" Stan threatened, holding out his electric candles.

"You really think you can defeat us?" Wax Sherlock Homles asked.

"I'm not sure, actually," Ford shrugged.

"Eh, it's worth a shot," Stan said.

"Better than not trying," Bella added.

"So be it," Wax Sherlock Homles said. "Wax figures, attack!"

Then the fight began. One wax woman swung her ax at Stan, but he ducked out of the way. She ended up cutting off the head of another wax figure. Stan walked around her, but was snuck up on by wax Shakespeare. Stan used the candle to cut off his hands and he ran off. Wax Shakespeare's hands moved to strangle Stan, but Fiddleford stabbed them with his own candle.

"Interview _this,_ Larry King!" Ford yelled and cut off wax Larry King's head.

"Ah, my neck!" He cried, feeling the stump. "My beautiful neck!"

Another wax figure went to grab Ford's candle, but the hot end melted his hand. Ford swiped at the figure, cutting him in half.

"Jokes on you, Groucho!" Ford yelled.

"Ehh, I've heard about a cutting remark, but this is ridiculous!" Wax Groucho joked as his upper half slid to the floor. "Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?"

Another wax figure ran at Bella, but she sidestepped and he ran into the fireplace.

"Haha, Genghis Khan fell harder than the, uh... I don't know, Qin Dynasty?" Ford tried. "Heh, yeah. Alright."

Stan was swinging the decapitated head of wax Coolio around by his hair, hitting the surrounding wax figures. Stan looked towards his brother and waved his arms in a warning. Ford cut the leg of another wax figure when he saw wax Sherlock Holmes approach him.

"Alright, let's get this taken care of," Wax Sherlock Homles said, sticking Mason's head on a rhino horn and grabbing a sword from the wall. The sword knocked the candle out of Ford's hand, breaking it. He swung the sword above his head, aiming at Ford.

"Stanford, catch!" Fiddleford tossed Ford a heated up fire poker.

Wax Sherlock Homles swung the sword downwards, but Ford blocked it with the poker. Wax Sherlock Homles attacked again and again, but Ford kept blocking and getting pushed back. Ford was backed into the corner by the wax man.

"Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!" Wax Sherlock Homles shouted. Ford rolled out of the way towards the window.

"Don't count on it!" He yelled back, escaping out the window. Wax Sherlock Holmes ran after him. Ford climbed onto the _Mystery Shack_ sign. Wax Sherlock Homles followed him, swinging his sword at Ford as he walked across the sign. Ford blocked the sword with the poker, and this happened a few times. Ford dodged a blow from wax Sherlock Homles, who ended up knocking the 'S' off the sign _._

He saw wax Sherlock Holmes' lips moving, but didn't pay enough attention to see what he was saying. Ford climbed over the point at the top of the roof, over to the other side. He ended up dropping the poker, but hid behind the chimney on the roof. He peeked out from behind it to see that wax Sherlock Holmes had followed him. The wax figure kicked him down, holding the sword above his head.

"Any last words?" Wax Sherlock asked.

"Uh, just a few," Ford panted. "Got any sunscreen?"

"Got any- what?!" Wax Sherlock turned around to see the rising sun. He dropped the sword in shock as he began to melt. 

"You know, letting me lead you outside?" Ford asked. "Probably not your best idea."

Wax Sherlock began to melt faster. As he did, he mumbled out words of agitation.

"Case closed," Ford said, dusting off his gloves. The dust caused him to sneeze, making the face of wax Sherlock Homles laugh. The pile of melted wax fell to the ground below. "Eh, eww."

\-----

Meanwhile, Stan, Bella, and Fiddleford were burning the remains of the wax statues. Only Shakespeare's wax head remained. Stan picked it up.

"Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!" Wax Shakespeare's head said.

"You know any limericks?" Bella asked.

"Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky-" The wax head began.

"Nope!" Stan tossed it into the fire. Ford entered the room.

"Ford! Yer ok!" Fiddleford smiled.

"You solved the mystery after all!" Stan grinned. Ford pulled up a chair, taking wax Mason's head off the rhino horn.

"Well, I couldn't have done it without my team," Ford smiled.

"No offense Ford, but it's my team," Stan said.

"What? Says who? Are people saying that?" Ford asked.

"Sweet sprinkle cupcakes!" Mabel cried upon seeing the room. "What happened to my parlor?!"

"Your wax figures were alive and evil, so we fought them to the death!" Bella told her.

"I decapitated Larry King," Ford said quickly.

"Haha, you kids are your imaginations," Mabel laughed.

"On the bright side, Ms. Pines, lookit what we found!" Fiddleford said. Ford handed her Mason's head.

"Mason's head!" Mabel smiled. "I missed this guy! You did good, kids! Alright, line up for hugs!"

"Uh, is there any other-" Stan was cut off as Mabel pulled him and the others into a big hug. They all laughed. Just then, Sheriff Holt and Deputy Roy pulled up to the window in their car.

"Solve the case yet, boy?" Holt asked. "I'm so sure that you didn't, that I'm going to take a long, slow sip of my coffee."

Ford let him get well into his drink before answering.

"Actually, we did," he revealed, showing them wax Mason's head. Holt spat out his coffee in shock, right in Roy's face. Roy screamed in pain and spat coffee back at Holt. This went on for a minute before the two drove off, screaming in pain from the hot coffee.

"They got burned!" Bella laughed.

"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?" Ford asked his brother and friends.

"I am 99 percent sure I did," Stan smiled.

"Me too," Fiddleford agreed.

"Me three," Bella nodded.

"Good enough for me," Ford said. They left the room.


	4. The Hand That Rocks The Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this episode is one of those exceptions I talked about. We will see all of Bella and Buddy's dates, but those are the only non-Stan-twins scenes we see. Any scene the twins are in will still be told from their POV.

Inside the shack, the twins were watching TV with Bella and Fiddleford, since it was their break.

_"The tiger was badly_ _injured in_ _the explosion, but we repaired him," the narrator on_ _TV_ _said. "With a fist!"_

_A human fist appeared on the side of the tiger._

The twins and Fiddleford cheered on the tiger, which started punching itself in the face.

"There is absolutely no plot to this!" Bella's complaint was barely noticed over the others' cheering.

_"Tiger Fist! will return_ _after_ _these messages!" The narrator said_ _before_ _the show went to commercial._

"Oh hey, it's that commercial I was tellin' y'all about," Fiddleford said, pointing to the TV.

_"Are you completely miserable?" A voice_ _over_ _on_ _the_ _TV_ _asked. There was a man sobbing in an empty room, alone._

_"Yes!" The_ _man_ _cried._

_"Then you need to meet Buddy!" The voice over man said._ _A shadow of a boy with big hair appeared._

"Buddy?" Ford said.

"What makes him so special?" Stan scoffed.

_"_ _He's_ _a psychic!" The man on_ _TV_ _said._

"Say huh?" Bella asked, tilting her head.

 _"So_ _don't_ _waste_ _your_ _time with another so-called 'Woman of Mystery'," t_ _he_ _man said, and a very_ _unflattering_ _picture of Graunty Mabel showed up on screen. There was a large red 'FRAUD' stamped over the picture. "Learn about it all tomorrow at Lil Bud's Tent O' Telepathy._ _"_

"Wow, I'm getting all wondery inside," Stan said.

"Well don't get too wondery," Mabel said, entering the room. She removed her suit shirt, leaving the undershirt she usually sat around in. "Bud's dad is nothing but trouble, and he's no better."

"What's so bad about Gideon Gleeful?" Bella asked.

"We do not speak his name!" Mabel screeched, then sighed. "Listen kids, the two of us used to date when we were young. He turned out to be a total jerk and I don't want you near him."

"But is Buddy really psychic?" Stan asked.

"I think we should find out," Ford said.

"No! I forbid you," Mabel said. "From now on, anyone who lives or works under my roof, isn't allowed under Gideon's roof."

The woman left the room, leaving the four kids to ponder.

"Do tents have roofs?" Fiddleford asked.

"Gentlemen, we have just found our loophole," Bella smirked.

_"So come on down, folks!" The man on TV said. "Buddy is expecting you."_

\-----

The kids joined the crowd at the Tent O' Telepathy. Gideon Gleeful was standing outside the entrance, holding a bag. He was dressed in a bright blue suit, and his hair was done up in a big poof.

"Step right up, folks!" Gideon called. "Put your money in Buddy's Psychic Sack!"

"Woah, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack," Ford said as he, Stan, Bella, and Fiddleford sat down near the front. "They even have their own Fidds."

There was a boy by the edge of the tent that looked a lot like Fiddleford. Fiddleford narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"Ssh, it's starting!" Bella squealed. Sure enough, the lights were dimming and focusing more on the stage.

"Let's see what this monster looks like," Ford whispered, folding his arms. The curtain opened up, revealing a young boy with brown hair wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

"Hello Gravity Falls!" The boy greeted. "My name is Lil Bud!"

Buddy clapped and doves flew out of his hair. The crowd cheered and applauded.

"That's the son of Mabel's mortal enemy?" Stan asked.

"Aw, but he's such a smol bean!" Bella cooed.

"Did I- did I see that correctly?" Ford asked. "'Smol'?"

"Ssh, fandom talk," Bella waved him off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such an honor to have you all here tonight!" Buddy smiled. "Such an honor. You know, I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all go _'awww.'_ "

Buddy turned around and showed a very cute face. The crowd did indeed go _'Awww!'_

"It came true!" Bella giggled.

"What? I'm not impressed," Ford rolled his eyes.

"Eh, maybe a little," Stan said.

"Hit it, Dad!" Buddy pointed to Gideon, who started playing a piano. Buddy started tapping along to the beat.

"Oh great, a musical number," Stan huffed.

" _Oh, I can see, what others can't see._

_"It ain't some sideshow trick, it's a neat ability!_

_"Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined._

_"And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!"_

"Come on, everybody, rise up!" Buddy said. "I want ya to keep it going!"

The crowd rose up on their feet.

"What the- how'd he-?" Ford looked up at the boy, who continued to sing and dance.

 _"You wish your son would call you more,"_ Buddy sung, pointing to an old woman in the front row. A cat laid in her lap.

"I'm leaving everything to my cats!" The woman yelled.

 _"I sense that_ _you've_ _been here before!"_ Buddy looked at a teen boy, who was holding lots of Lil' Bud merchandise.

"What gave it away?" The teen asked. Buddy walked down the aisle, stopping at where the twins, Fiddleford, and Bella were sitting.

 _"_ _I'll_ _read_ _your mind and_ _I_ _can tell-a,"_ Buddy looked at Bella, _"that_ _I_ _believe_ _you're_ _named Bella."_

"How'd he do that?" Bella whispered as Buddy walked back to the stage. Stan glanced at her fake sheriff badge, which said 'BELLA' on it.

" _So welcome all ye..."_ Buddy continued his song, _"to the Tent of Telepathy._

_"And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' me!"_

The song ended, with Buddy panting and sweating on the stage. As the crowd cheered, Buddy accepted their praises in between breathes. He took a sip of water.

"Thank you, everyone! You people are the real miracles!" Buddy smiled.

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Graunty Mabel," Ford chuckled.

"Oh come on! He was adorbsable!" Bella said. "And his song was super catchy!"

"Yer too easily impressed," Fiddleford laughed.

"What can I say? Small things always get my attention so _easily_!" Bella beamed.

\-----

"Guys guys, look!" Bella ran up to Stan and Ford, who were hanging out in the shack the next day. "My Beanie Boo just got here!"

She showed them a pig stuffed animal

"His name is Piggley," Bella said. "Hey! PiggLEY, StanLEY! How cool is that?"

"Uh, yeah, pretty cool," Stan said.

"I will!" Bella yelled, running out of the room.

"She will what?" Stan asked. Ford shrugged. 

Bella ran to the door and opened it, revealing Buddy. 

"Hey! It's wittle ol' you!" She said.

"Haha yes, my song is quite catchy," Buddy chuckled. "Now I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's show, well I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."

"You mean this one?" Bella asked and proceeded to laugh.

"Oh, what a delight!" Buddy smiled. "Now, when I saw you in the crowd last night, I thought to myself, 'Now there's a kindred spirit! Someone who enjoys the small things in life.'"

"That's totally me!" Bella smiled, hugging her new Beanie Boo, Piggley. She spoke in a baby voice, kissing its head.

"Adorable. Utterly adorable," Buddy smiled.

"Who's at the door?!" Mabel yelled from the other room.

"No one, Ms. Pines!" Bella yelled.

"Thank ya kindly for being discrete," Buddy said. "Ms. Pines and my father aren't on the best of terms. I don't know how a peach so sweet could be working for a lemon so sour."

"Aw, she's not that bad," Bella said. "In fact, I enjoy a good lemon from time to time. Heh heh..."

"What do you say we step away from here and chat a bit more?" Buddy asked. "Say, in my dressing room?"

"Hey-o, that was fast!" Bella laughed. "Hehe, sure, why not? It's not like I have anything better to do."

She poked Buddy in the stomach, making him laugh.

\-----

Buddy showed Bella to his room, which had its own fully-stocked pantry, a Zbox One, and stacks of video games.

"Wow!" Bella stared in awe.

"See something you like?" Buddy asked. "Cuz I most certainly do."

"Pfft, haha," Bella shoved him playfully.

\-----

A few hours later, Bella returned to the Mystery Shack. The twins were in the gift shop.

"Hey-o!" Bella greeted.

"Woah, what's up with the red stuff?" Stan looked over at Bella.

"You look like you got shot!" Ford's eyes widened.

"Haha, that's the point, silly!" Bella teased. "Me and Buddy were playing video games, and we got dressed up to look like we were in a first-person shooter! And he played with my Beanie Boos with me, and listened to my stories!"

"Bella, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head," Stan said.

"Oh be quiet," Bella rolled her eyes. "You guys never do what I want. We're always going on monster hunts or doing things. You never just want to sit around!"

"What are you talking about?" Ford asked. Just then, Fiddleford ran in.

"Guys, are ya ready to go on an epic adventure?!" He asked.

"Are we!" The twins jumped up from their spots and ran off with Fiddleford.

\-----

The next day, Bella and Buddy were sitting on the roof of a warehouse.

"Wow, the view from your family's factory is amazing!" Bella said, taking a picture with an owl Beanie Boo. "Good thing we both brought our-"

"Binoculars!" The two said together, each pointing a pair of binoculars at each other. They laughed, lowering the tools.

"You know Bella, when I'm up here, I feel like a king," Buddy said, looking out at the town. "A king of all I can see. I guess that makes you my queen, ami'right?"

"Are you flirting with me?" Bella giggled. Honestly she was enjoying the attention. _Her_ crush never flirted with her. Now he only saw her as, well, a friend.

"Not necessarily," Buddy chuckled. "I'm speaking from the heart."

"Woah, wait-"

"Bella, I've never felt this close with anyone," Buddy said, reaching out to stroke her very short hair. "So very close."

"No touching," Bella said, smacking his hand away. "Look Buddy, I noticed all the flirting you've been doing, and I appreciate that you have such good taste, but let's just be friends, alright?"

"Bella, at least give me a chance," Buddy begged. "Bella, will you give me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"I-I, uh..."

"It'll just be one little ol' date," Buddy promised. "I swear on my lucky bowtie."

"Well... alright," Bella sighed. "Just one date."

"Bella McCreary, you've made me the happiest boy in the world!" Buddy exclaimed, wrapping the girl in a hug.

"...Are you sniffing my hair?" Bella asked. "Dude, I haven't washed it in a week!"

\-----

Back at the Mystery Shack, the twins, Bella, and Fiddleford were talking.

"It's just one date, he promised," Bella said. "I didn't know what else to say, so I agreed."

"Guys don't work that way, Bella," Stan said. "He's gonna fall in love with ya."

"Ugh, I _know_ ," Bella groaned. "I mean, look at me, I'm perfect! I'm cute, pretty, hot; I like video games and everything!"

"You're also very modest, too," Ford mumbled.  

"Doorbell," Bella said, running out of the room.

\-----

Bella and Buddy were in a restaurant. They were sitting at a private table in the corner. The horse they had rode on was nearby, drinking from a fountain.

"Gee, if I knew we were going somewhere fancy, I would have dressed up," Bella said, looking at her outfit. She wore her normal clothes, a pink shirt and jean shorts. Her hair was also a mess, not having been brushed.

"Oh nonsense, you look lovely," Buddy assured.

"Ah, Monsieur Buddy, a refill on your water, yes?" The water came by and refilled Buddy's water.

"I never knew one meal could have so many forks!" Bella said in awe. "And water with bubbles? Ooh la la, _oui oui_!"

"Ah! _Parlez vous francais?_ " Buddy asked with a smiled.

"...I have no idea what that means," Bella said.

\-----

"Hey hey hey, what is Bella doing in the paper with Gideon's son?!" Mabel yelled, showing the cover of the newspaper to her employees and nephews. The newspaper cover had a picture of Bella and Buddy holding hands and smiling. Buddy had a wide, happy smile, while Bella's smile was more nervous.

"Oh yeah, it's like, a huge deal," Dan said. "Everyone's talking about Bella and Buddy's big date tonight."

"WHAT?! That little shyster is dating Bella?!" Mabel yelled, threatening to tear the paper in two.

"I wonder what their ship name will be," Ria said. "Belly? Budda? Ooh, Bella-uddy!"

Mabel marched out of the room.

"We didn't know!" Stan yelled.

"We didn't know about it!" Ford added

"And plus, we told 'er not to!" Fiddleford shouted.

"Yeah well, it stops tonight!" Mabel snapped, pulling on her suit. "I'm going over to Gideon's house and shutting this down! No employee of mine is dating an employee of Gideon's!"

She slammed the door.

"Dudes, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and she had to come back in and go out the real door?" Ria asked. She walked over to check the door. "Nope. Real door."

\-----

Back at the restaurant, Buddy was telling stories, while Bella picked at her fish dinner.

"And so I said, 'Autograph your own headshot, lady!'" Buddy laughed.

"Heh, yeah..." Bella said, poking at her fish. She didn't really like seafood.

"Bella, tonight's date has been a complete success!" Buddy said happily. "And tomorrow's date promises to be even better."

"Wait, what?" Bella looked up. "Uh, you said just _one_ date. This was it."

"Oh! What a surprise!" Buddy said, holding out his arm. "A red-crested South American rainbow macaw."

The titled bird flew over and landed on Buddy's outstretched arm. Bella yelled and hid under the table.

"Big bird!"

"Two, three, four..." Buddy counted.

"Bella! Will! You! Accompany! Buddy! To! The ballroom dance! This! Thurbday!" The macaw squawked out.

Buddy shook the bird.

"Thursday!" The bird corrected itself, coughed up a letter, and flew off. The other people in the restaurant turned towards them.

"Aw, how cute!" A woman smiled.

"Buddy's got a girlfriend!" The chef grinned.

"They're expecting us," Buddy whispered, showing Bella the letter. "Please say you'll go."

"Buddy, I'm super sorry, but I have to say-" Bella was cut off by the chatter of the customers.

"I'm on the edge of my seat!" The teen from before, with all the Buddy merchandise, said.

"This is gonna be _adorable_!" Another boy said.

"If she says no, I'll die from sadness," an old woman whimpered.

"I can confirm that that will indeed happen," a doctor said. Bella looked panicked as the crowd started chattering.

\-----

Back at the shack, Ford was reading while Stan watched TV. Stan turned off the TV as Bella entered, flopping down on the couch.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Ford asked, looking up from his book.

"I don't know," Bella murmured. "I have new rare and retired Beanie Boos at home."

"Well, at least it's over and you won't have to go on another date with him," Stan said. The twins noticed Bella hiding her face. "Bella? It's over, right?"

"AHHHH!" Bella screamed in frustration. "He asked me out again! I didn't know how to say no!"

"Like this! 'No'!" Ford said.

"It wasn't that easy!" Bella groaned. "There was this woman, and she said she'd die from sadness- and I do like Buddy, but as a friend/little brother! I just need things to get back to that point."

\-----

The next night, Bella and Buddy were on a boat, which was being rowed by Crazy Chiu.

"Boating at night! Boating at night!" The old woman laughed.

"Wow, I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the night," Bella chuckled nervously.

"But don't you want this night to last forever, honey?" Buddy asked, leaning over to her.

"NO!" Bella cried. "I mean yes! I mean... I always love hanging out with a friend, pal, buddy, chum, _amico,_ other word for friend..."

"Pal?" Crazy Chiu suggested.

"Already said pal," Bella said. "Uh, mate?"

"How about _soul_ mate?" Buddy said. A bunch of fireworks went off, the last one saying 'Bella' inside a giant pink heart.

"Well, you can't say no to that!" Crazy Chiu smiled. Bella clutched at her hair in desperation.

\-----

"Imean, he'ssonice!" Bella was saying as she paced in front of the twins. "ButIcan'tkeepdoingthis! Idon'twannabreakhisheart, either. GAH! Ihavenowayout!"

"Bella, wait, we need you to slow down," Stan frowned.

"What the heck happened on that date?" Ford asked.

"FIREWORKS!" Bella panicked. "Fireworks, an-anddancing, andaboatride! Hejustwouldn'tletmeleavetheromance-zone! He'stooclingy! IfeellikeI'msuffocating!"

"Bella, we still can't understand a word you're saying," Ford said. Bella sighed.

"Don't worry guys, I'll... I'll think of something," she said. "We have another date tomorrow. I'll tell him then."

\-----

"So sweetie, how are you enjoying your meal?" Buddy asked. Him and Bella were sitting in a booth at _T_ _he_ _Club._ Bella had taken only a few bites of her food.

"Listen Bud, there's something I have to tell you," Bella said, refusing to make eye contact.

"Why of course! You can tell me anything!" Buddy said, tilting Bella's head upwards so she was looking at him.

"I-I..." Bella thought quickly, "I-"

\-----

"YOU TOLD HIM _WHAT_?!"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else!" Bella yelled. "If I said anything else he wouldn't have let me leave!"

"So you said Lee was your _boyfriend_?!" Ford shouted.

"Let's see you come up with anything better!" Bella snapped.

"Tell him you don't like him!" Stan said.

"Arg, he wouldn't believe me!" Bella groaned. "He would _refuse_ to believe if I said I didn't like him! He had to think I had feelings for someone else!"

\-----

Bella, Fiddleford, and the twins were outside. Bella and Fiddleford linked arms, tucking pillows in their shirts.

"Hit us!" They said together. Stan and Ford came running at them, attempting to knock the two young teens over. They failed though, and the twins were the ones to fall backwards. The four friends laughed.

"Well, I'm glad everything's back to normal," Bella smiled. As they played, Thompson Determined approached them. The kids glanced between each other.

"Hey, can we help you?" Ford asked.

"Yes! I was hoping to talk to the two of you," Thompson said, pointing at the twins. They looked at each other.

 _Did we do something?_ Stan asked.

 _Don't know,_ Ford shrugged.

"Uh, sure," he spoke. "What's up?"

"Privately," Thompson said.

"Ok...?"

The twins went off to the side with Thompson.

"Hey, uh, sorry for accusing you of murder last week," Ford said.

"Water under the bridge," Thompson waved it off. "I'm here to ask if either of you have seen anything unusual in this here town since you've arrived."

"Oh finally! I thought no one would ever ask!" Ford said happily.

"Yes, a chance to become known for something!" Stan smiled. 

\-----

That night, Stan and Ford walked over to the warehouse together. They stepped inside but didn't see anyone.

"Hello?" Ford called out. He slumped his shoulders at no reply. He and Stan went to leave. However, only Ford got out the door when suddenly it slammed shut, trapping Stan inside.

"Hey, let me out!" Stan yelled, kicking at the door. The lights turned on, and Stan turned around to see Buddy sitting in a spinny chair. The boy was playing with a doll of himself.

"Hello, friend," Buddy greeted.

"Ugh, Buddy," Stan rolled his eyes.

"Stanley Pines," Buddy said. "How long you been living in this town? A week? Two? You like it here? Enjoying the scenery?"

"What do you what, Buddy?" Stan asked.

"Listen here, boy," Buddy growled. "This here town has secrets you couldn't even begin to comprehend!"

"Is this about Bella?" Stan asked. "Didn't she tell you she isn't into you?"

"LIAR!" Buddy screamed. "YOU stole her from me!" Buddy grabbed at his amulet, walking towards Stan. "She was MY peach dumplin'!"

"Woah man, chill out!" Stan said, getting a little scared. Suddenly he was levitated into the air and thrown into a pile of boxes.

"Reading minds isn't all I can do, Stanley," Buddy said darkly.

"B-but you're a fake," Stan stuttered, trying to stand up.

"Oh tell me Stan, does this look 'fake' to you?" Buddy asked. He levitated all the merchandise behind him. Stan ran from and dodged the merchandise being thrown at him. Buddy laughed evilly as he tossed a cabinet at Stan, who jumped out of the way and hit his head on the wall.

" _Son of a-_ " Stan hissed. "Graunty Mabel was right about you! You are a monster!"

"Bella belongs to me! Not you!" Buddy yelled and laughed evilly. Stan grabbed a baseball bat and swung at Buddy. The younger boy was distracting by cooing at a toy version of himself. Stan yelled and charged at Buddy, who levitated him. Stan dropped the bat as he was lifted into the air.

"She's never gonna date you, man!" Stan yelled.

"That's a lie! It's only because she's dating you!" Buddy yelled. He spotted a pair of Buddy merchandise shears. "And I'm going to make sure she's _not_ dating you, and _never_ will again."

Buddy levitated the shears towards a struggling Stan. However, before he did anything, he stopped and looked towards the doorway.

"Bella! M-my dumplin'," Buddy said, dropping the shears. "What are you doing here?"

Stan turned in midair to look at the door. Bella stood in the doorway.

"Buddy, I can't be your dumpling," Bella said. "And I need to tell you the truth to why."

"I-I don't understand..." Buddy said, his grip on the amulet tightening. Stan seemed to be choking.

"Uh, Bella, right now might not be the best time to be brutally honest with him!" Stan gasped. Ford was watching from outside, clearly terrified.

"Buddy, I'm not... Stan isn't my boyfriend," Bella said softly. Buddy almost didn't hear her.

"He's... not?" Buddy asked. Stan stopped choking and took in a deep breath.

"No, he isn't," Bella shook her head. "Buddy, I just don't like you in that way. I'm sorry. But hey, we can still be Live Friends, right? Would you like that?"

"Really?" Buddy asked as Bella walked up to him. She looked at the exposed amulet and grabbed it.

"No not really!" She screamed. Stan fell to the ground. He groaned slightly as he sat up and looked at Bella and Buddy.

"My bowtie! Give it back!" Buddy cried, watching as Bella threw it to Stan.

"Ha!" Stan laughed, catching it. "Not so high and mighty without this, are ya?"

Buddy screamed and charged at Stan, making him drop the amulet. The two of them fell through the window, falling of the edge of the cliff. Stan and Buddy started slapping each other as they fell. Once they realized they were near certain doom, they started screaming for their lives. But they floated right above the ground, surrounded by a green light. They looked up to see Bella levitating them, and carrying herself and Ford down to the ground.

"Listen Buddy, it's over," Bella said. "I will never, ever, date you. You've ruined that chance by being clingy and almost killing Stan."

"Yeah!" Stan said in agreement. Bella dropped them to the ground. She tossed the amulet on the grass, stepping on and breaking it.

"MY POWERS!" Buddy cried. "Oh, this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol'... me..."

He backed away into the dark forest.

\-----

"What happened to you two?" Mabel asked, seeing the twins in such bad shape, though Stan seemed to be worse off.

"Buddy," Stan grumbled.

"Buddy," Ford said in agreement.

"I tried to warn you guys," Mabel shook her head.


End file.
